


in the bed all day, bed all day, bed all day.

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band), Zayn Malik (Musician)
Genre: 2016 zayn, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Anger Management, Babies, Barebacking, Bottom Liam, Coma, Fights, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Forced Orgasm, Ft. Loki, Gay Sex, Hand Jobs, Larry Stylinson Is Real, M/M, Mpreg, Mpreg Liam, Oops, Pregnancy Scares, Pregnant Liam, Protective Zayn, Rape/Non-con Elements, Relationship Problems, Shotgunning, Top Zayn, Twins, Unplanned Pregnancy, WIP, Weed, Zayn has got some weird-ass way of avoiding problems, Ziam Ficathon, barely there though, comatose liam, scarred., ziam babies fucking yES
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-31
Updated: 2016-05-18
Packaged: 2018-05-17 12:31:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 26,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5869684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn and Liam's relationship worsens over time spent in their bed. </p><p>But what happens when Zayn discovers he's left something big behind..</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. warzone.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, I'm back again (gets no replies :))  
> So I keep writing fics/drabbles and deleting them thinking _what the fucking fuck is this fucking piece of fuckery_ and this is the only fic I've dared to post in **months. Hope 'ts ok :) Drop a comment if you spot any mistakes that really ought to be corrected :) x**

_Fucking you_

_‘Fuck ba-abe, right there’_

Liam hums around his length, hand flying over Zayn’s cock, alternating between slow and fast, driving him to the very edge, tightening and loosening his grip on Zayn’s cock just to fuck with his mind.

Zayn looks down at Liam with lust-clouded eyes, everything hazy in his vision apart from the brunette in focus. He grabs the lit joint on the bedside table and takes a deep breathe, breathes a hoarse _Come here_.

Liam crawls over, eyes raking over Zayn’s lips as his own turn up in a breathless smile. He presses his lips to Zayn’s and Zayn exhales deeply, barely giving Liam time to breathe before shoving his tongue in.

The taste of pot, himself and mint on Liam’s tongue is driving him insane, a moment closer to release each time. His hand curls around the nape of Liam’s neck, pulling him in, fingertips tickling the sparse hair there.

Liam keeps breathing heavily, chest moving jerkily against Zayn’s body, showing exactly the effect Zayn has on him. It has Zayn grinning really, the way he blindly trusts him like a parent.

_(Well he is Liam’s daddy-)_

Liam keens, grinding his arse over Zayn’s upper thigh, _please **please** fuck me…_, before his cock twitches and he’s coming for the second time this evening without anything up his arse.

Liam blushes pink, mumbles a quiet _sorry, I couldn’t hold it back_ and Zayn almost cries because _why or how is he so beautiful and adorable?_ He was born to satiate man’s desire – specifically Zayn’s.

The raven-haired lad hisses as Liam pulls back, lips cherry red and eyes tiredly blown. His hard cock is let go off, resting neglected against his navel.

‘Wanna cuddle?’ Liam blushes, eyelashes fanning over his high cheekbones. For some reason it vexes him, Liam always acting so cuddly after sex, and wanting to do something else before his partner has even hit their high.

Zayn puts the joint between his lips for a second time and inhales. He exhales, the translucent fumes spilling out to block Liam’s as well as his own vision.

‘No’ he looks away to ignore the hurt look on Liam’s face, ‘just want to fuck you’

 

_And fighting on_

 

‘You’ve contacted Gigi Hadid _again_?!’

Zayn groans, sleepily reaching for Liam’s frame, ‘It’s for the video babe’ Everything goes silent, and Zayn sighs softly, opening his eyes and looks to his world, his jaan sitting up with his sinful lips between his teeth in nervousness.

‘Zayn, why are you with that bitch again?’

Zayn flares his nostrils at that and sits up rather aggressively. Raising his hands up to his head, he tugs at his hair, inwardly hurting at the way Liam flinches at his actions.

_Doesn’t he trust Zayn not to hurt him? Doesn’t he know he’s Zayn’s world, his jaan?_

‘She’s not a bitch’ he growls anyway, lunging forward and grabbing Liam’s arm. ‘Just because I’m bi’ he starts, eyes glinting, ‘Doesn’t mean every woman I hang out with is my _bitch,_ get that Liam?’

Liam looks so hurt for a second, but that look is immediately masked by a look of anger. The brunette snatches his arm back at that, rubbing at the red finger-shaped marks left behind.

‘Oh but Zayn, she’s way more than _any woman_ to you, right?’

Zayn growls bestially at that, ‘ _She will soon be if you don’t shut the fuck about this trivial issue’_

_Silence._

It feels like forever combined with heavy breathing and hard-to-tell-if-crying sniffles before Zayn speaks up again.

‘Go back to sleep Liam’ he sighs softly, reaching for him slowly, afraid of this abrupt silence.

_No response._

Next thing Liam’s lying back down, pulling the duvet over their bodies before placing his head on Zayn’s chest.

He says nothing and Zayn reaches for the handy pack of Marlboro’s beside him. He digs out the lighter from under his pillow and lights the end, eyeing Liam through his peripheral vision. Hyper aware of the way Liam strokes his bare torso.

Liam watches tiredly as the butt catches alight, brown dust slowly sparking and turning golden yellow, tiny embers floating off into the morning air.

His eyes follow the cigarette, even lingering over Zayn’s full lips as he inhales the carcinogenic tobacco, exhaling softly too; art forming art against the clear day light.

‘Just don’t let me go’ Liam whispers to Zayn’s skin, lips brushing over the red lips staining his sternum. ‘I love you’ he adds as a second thought.

Zayn doesn’t reply.

 

_It’s our paradise_

Zayn wraps an arm around Liam’s waist as Liam cuddles into Zayn’s side. On the TV, Cameron Diaz picks out a used pair of boxers from under Ashton Kutcher’s bed, wincing exaggeratedly.

It’s evenings like this both of them love; sitting under the sheets half-naked watching a trashy comedy or _Citizen Khan_ (Zayn’s favourite comment being _‘You know maybe you do have something in common with him; you had some Pakistani in you too’_ ).

_Not sex for once – just spending quality time together._

Zayn laughs loudly and Liam taps him on the shoulder with an eyebrow raised. ‘Remember that Ashton Kutcher in this film is basically you all the time and then laugh’

Loki comes crawling in through the door at that moment, immediately rushing to Liam (because Zayn’s the one to go to only for silk slippers to chew).

Liam smiles wide enough to make Zayn’s cold heart swell to 3 times its size, and coos, tickling his furry belly and picking him off the floor.

 _Who’s a cute little baby? Who does Daddy love lots?_ (‘I thought I was Daddy!’ Zayn whisper-yells at that) _who’s my little bundle of joy?_ (Another nit-picky reference to Zayn not wanting to adopt yet)

Zayn pouts, eyes shining in love and endearment as he continues the conversation ‘Awwe c’mon babe, I didn’t leave underwear in our shared bed or anything like that’

Liam raises his eyebrows pointedly and Zayn rolls his eyes, before pinning Liam to the side of the bed. He rolls over on top of him and Liam rolls his eyes. Loki barks resentfully as he gets shoved off Liam’s tummy in the process.

‘I’m trying to watch the film, calm your libido for a bit yeah Zayn’ Liam whines, trying to shove him away.

Zayn smirks and raises his eyebrows, ‘Feel like leaving my underwear in our bed ‘sall I’m doing’ he hums. Loki barks again.

 _OHMYGODZAYNSHUTUP_ Liam groans and whacks him with a pillow. Zayn lunges back cackling and next thing he’s widening his eyes and gasping as he sails over the edge of the bed.

Liam widens his eyes, before bursting into raucous laughter as Zayn violently sits back up, pushing his hair back with his hands. Loki chooses that moment to jump off the bed and land back on Zayn with a loud _thump_ and _oof._

More laughter.

‘ _I HATE YOU LIAM PAYNE BUT I’M COMING FOR THAT ARSE OF YOURS’_

 

_And it’s our warzone_

 

On the 5th Friday of January, Liam is very excited. He’s waiting eagerly for the video at this point; fruit of Zayn’s consistent hard work.

He’s only watched snippets of it, and it seems like the up and coming Zayn could potentially reduce Drake or a Chris Brown to dust.

At 5:30 AM in the morning, around half an hour after the set UK release time, he drains his coffee and grabs his laptop, careful not to wake a sleeping Zayn beside him.

He watches the video once, twice, only realising after 5 minutes that the model in the video is _Gigi Hadid._ And he’s not smiling so hard anymore.

He hates to say it, but he does feel jealous of Gigi. She’s very _very_ pretty, no doubt. And he’s seen Zayn and she spend time together, they’re always laughing and Zayn’s always tweeting about “bants” with Gigi.

Zayn has never tweeted about fun with Liam…

And then them making out in the video… that just has his heart breaking.

He can understand why Zayn would choose her for the video if the world didn’t know about their relationship, but it _does_ , it does know about their relationship, so _why Zayn? Why?_

So around 3 hours later, when Zayn finally decides to get his lazy arse up and out of bed, he finds nothing but crumpled bedsheets and a wet pillow next to him.

He leaps out of bed, pulling on a pair of flannel pants before jogging down the stairs, yelling Liam’s name with increasingly loud volume.

He’s beginning to panic more and more, discovering unwashed dishes (Liam usually washes the plates from last night when he gets up), the TV still on (Liam’s always yelling at him about leaving the TV on when he falls asleep on the couch), and no sign of that wretched dog Loki.

_No that’s a lie Zayn really loves Loki, now would be the best moment for him to come yapping out of nowhere and chew at his silk slippers-_

That’s when he spots the broken photo frame by the front door. He rushes over, bending down to collect up the broken shards of glass as his eyes well up.

It encased (well, _used to_ ) a picture of Liam and him just after they were declared the runners up of X-Factor. It’s one of those unseen pictures, the one only they have not one of those spread and uploaded all over the internet.

Although it’s in black and white, Zayn can picture that moment perfectly, the way Liam’s eyes sparkled and he kept smiling every few seconds despite the angry tears threatening to spill from his beautiful brown eyes.

Liam’s face is partially obscured from view, mostly dug into Zayn’s chest. Zayn himself is hiding his sadness behind a mask of corny smiles and glimmering eyes and insincere congratulations.

He distinctly remembers Liam constantly glaring in the direction of Rebecca Ferguson at the after party, cutely scrunching up his eyes as he sipped at this salty vodka-like drink, something totally un-Liamesque.

A tear rolls down his cheek, 2011 Liam mocking him from the photograph with a watery smile and those beautiful, _beautiful_ eyes.

There’s also a Post-it note beside the frame, the stickiness almost gone ( _Typical Liam to use a Post-it_ Zayn thinks with a teary laugh), with an explanation in an almost-out biro written messily.

The words are confident but the water stains on the paper say different.

_Zayn,_

_I love u very very much but sometimes u have to learn to let go of things u love. I think we’ve both come to realise u don’t love me as much as u used to & _(Zayn’s eyes water up again as he remembers Liam’s dodgy attempts at doing the ‘and sign’, it still is just as bad) _it’s best 4 the both of us that we stop now._

_enjoy ur life buddy, hope theres no hard feelings –_

_li xxx_

_

_anth._


	2. paradise.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> zayn might have left something unattended with liam..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bit of a surprise here i added when i was high (on caffeine bc I ain't about the drug life :)) -- hope it's appreciated! I know many of you prefer bottom!zayn, but i'm a hardcore bottom!liam so *holds out hands dramatically* _sue me_

_4 months later._

‘ **Gigi Hadid flashes ring much like Perrie Edward’s at the AMA’s – could the hottest couple on the planet be stepping it up a notch?** – Zayn, what the fuck is this?’

Zayn takes an inhale from the joint, shrugging as he pulls away. Louis scowls at him, snatching the joint away from his fingers.

 _‘_ Zayn _– even after I told you?’_

Zayn sits up and snatches the ciggy back, while blowing fumes in Louis’ face. Louis scrunches up his eyes, still maintaining the stern set to his eyebrows.

‘Just because Liam Payne, who _for your information_ dumped _me, not the other way round_ regrets leaving me, I will _not_ leave a relationship with _bomb ass sex_ to return to his sorry ass’ Zayn snaps, pressing the glowing tip of the blunt to his forearm.

Next moment Louis’ blunt nails are digging into what little flesh he has on his arms, eyes glinting madly, ‘Don’t say shit about Liam, _you’ve lost that right._ You treated him like complete bull crap, and for once he has the courage to do something about it – that doesn’t make his ass _sorry’_

Zayn wriggles out of Louis’ tight grip and hisses, ‘Whatever Louis, I’m done with his dramatic ass, if you’re so fond of him you can have the leftovers’

Louis straight up slaps him for that. Zayn lets out a surprised cry, cigarette dropping to his lap in the process.

 _‘Shut up you little shit. Don’t you dare say stuff like that about him’_ Louis growls bestially.

When Zayn shows no reaction to that apart from wincing, Louis huffs and grabs his coat and phone from the chair arm. ‘ _Call me when you’re willing to have a decent conversation without dissing Liam’_

And then he gets up and leaves, receiving a call from Harry on his way out to which he replies something like _oh yeah babe he’s still the same as ever; stubborn dick’s not gonna let go anytime soon._

Zayn sighs, raising his fingertips up to smooth over the bruise forming. He raises the cigarette to his lips and inhales again, trying to metaphorically exhale out all thoughts of Liam.

It doesn’t work.

Liam went all out with fitness after breaking up with Zayn. Within a month, what little baby fat he had on his tummy dissipated into his abs and biceps and _God those glutes._ His jawline became more defined of its own accord (because puberty), and he starts growing some facial hair.

Soon Zayn just stopped looking at news about him because wanking over Liam wearing a heavy coat, hair awkwardly fluffed up and eyes squinting in the strong UK winds is basically stupidity.

It was almost like he was trying to remind Zayn who he’d let go; but Liam wouldn’t do that, _would he?_ He’s a strong willed character, though a bit soft at heart; he’s probably let go of Zayn by now, some pretty bird at his right hand now.  

A sudden the landline phone starts ringing (it’s been doing that a lot since Zayn switched his Nokia brick to the iPhone 6+ and didn’t bother transferring all his contacts) and Zayn picks it up, cigarette still dangling from his pretty lips.

‘Hi it’s Zayn here, who’s speaking?’

He’s faced with muffled crying and whimpering and he starts fretting immediately. _What if that asshole boyfriend broke up with Wali again?_

 _‘Z-Zayn’_ Liam hiccups, before breaking into loud sobs again. Zayn’s heart flutters, and he sets down the joint with a worried look.

 _Liam,_ he breathes into the phone, standing up abruptly. His hand flies to his mouth as he starts nibbling on his nails.

When he’s faced with no reply, he furrows his eyebrows even more, _‘Liam? Babe?’_

_He didn’t mean to call him babe._

_He really didn’t._

Liam breathes unevenly and Zayn can hear some shuffling in the background.

 _‘Zayn I’m pregnant’_ is all Liam breathes, before bursting into tears again.

Zayn stops pacing curtly only then realising how cold the room was, goosebumps rising across his inked skin.

 _‘Liam, bab-‘he_ sighs exasperatedly as Liam starts weeping again, ‘ _Liam. What do you mean pregnant? Are you drunk or something?’_

The line goes silent for a moment.

Then Liam speaks again.

 _‘N-no’_ he clarifies, voice cracking again. Zayn’s heart hurts at that noise ( _no Zayn get over it you’re going to get married to Gigi zAYN YOU’RE ENGAGED-_ )

_‘Zayn I’m pregnant, and it’s yours’_

_Pillow talk, my enemy_

Zayn finds himself at Liam’s house an hour later, cold arms wrapped around a warm, crying mess of Liam reassuring him that _everything’s gonna be okay_ when he doesn’t even know what everything is.

He’s rocking them back and forth as Liam cries over one of his favourite tank tops.

He finds a smashed bottle of sleeping pills beside them too and subconsciously wonders what would have happened if Liam hadn’t called him.

_He doesn’t want to know._

‘Ssh Liam’ he hushes him, stroking his unfamiliarly defined back, trying to avoid glancing at those lips of his.

Liam doesn’t seem to notice that though, pouring his heart out into tears and broken sentences.

 _‘Z-Zayn, ohmyg-god I’m so sorr-‘he_ hiccups in the middle, rubbing his eyes on Zayn’s t-shirt again.

Zayn sighs ‘Ts fine Liam, but we need to decide what we’re going to do about it…’

Liam pulls away at that, eyes comically wide in horror. _‘I can’t get an abortion’_ he says, tensing at the words itself.

Zayn frowns and pulls his beanie further over his head (maybe in mortification) because that’s exactly what he was going to suggest.

‘Zayn’ Liam hisses seriously, wiping away tear tracks drying down his face with his sweater paws. ‘I’m over 3 months pregnant’ he says slowly, stretching out his legs so he can place his hands on his tummy.

_Zayn’s heart nearly breaks because which idiot in their right mind would leave someone so endearing?_

He looks down at his (slightly bulging) tummy with a watery smile, slipping his hands under the jumper to stroke it. And Zayn’s overwhelmed by a sudden surge of emotion, tears welling up in his tired eyes.

 _C-Can I?_ He stutters out, blushing slightly when Liam nods with a small smile. He moves his hands over to Liam’s tummy, slipping his hands under the thin material.

_Something special’s in there; what Liam and he had created out of love._

He smiles, a tear slipping out of his eyes as he cuddles up to Liam, hands moving gently over his tummy.

‘We’re going to bring him or her up with love and care’ he says with finality, forgetting about Gigi, their wedding, the media, management, his career, _everything for a second._

Just to relish in that wide smile on Liam’s face.

_He’s finally managed to do something right._

 

_My ally_

The very next day Liam and he go to have an ultrasound done at a nearby clinic.

They’re sitting in the waiting room, Liam jiggling his feet in excitement – which Zayn finds quite cute really.

But he doesn’t know what to do to calm him… In other circumstances, he’d probably kiss Liam hard and sweet right now to shut him up, but _that doesn’t even classify as appropriate anymore._

It’s then that he realises that they’re only spending time together and acting couple-y (without the couple stuff) because of Zayn not using a condom 4 months ago.

He has to remind himself not to do inappropriate stuff like _kiss Liam,_ or _touch his tummy all the time_ or _sleep next to him while holding him close to his chest_ because Liam’s not his to love. His heart drops abruptly, arm around Liam retreating slightly.

If Liam notices, he doesn’t say anything.

A few minutes later, a young girl comes into the waiting room, _her tag says Neelam,_ calling out for Liam.

The pair stand up, and she smiles at them, inviting them to come into her office.

When they both are seated in the clinic and Liam starts looking around, alarmed by all these vaccinations and medical tests babies have to have done on them before they’re born, Zayn takes his hand in his and squeezes reassuringly.

‘So Liam – how long now have you been pregnant?’ the doctor (Neelam) asks, and Zayn’s amused at how she’s so serious and totally unaffected by a _male_ pregnancy.

Liam shrugs, hands breaking away from Zayn’s to rest on his tummy again, ‘Around 4 months now?’

She nods, scribbling down something illegible. ‘Was that around the last time you had coitus?’

Liam blushes, avoiding eye contact with her. Zayn too decides looking around the small room is a very good idea right now.

‘Yeah’ Liam says softly and she smiles reassuringly. She reaches over, takes Liam’s hand in hers and smiles at him kindly.

‘Don’t worry babe, nothing to be ashamed of. If you’re worried that this is going to get out to the media, you’re completely safe. This is a trusted private clinic’

Liam widens his eyes, ‘You know who I am?’

Neelam grins sweetly, eyes crinkling in amusement, ‘Uh, it’s kinda hard not to, isn’t it? I know you guys are on hiatus and everything but I will have you know that you guys’ faces are still on almost every double decker around my house’

Liam giggles and Zayn smiles fondly, goes up to ruffle Liam’s hair but clenches his fist shut at the last moment.

‘Could you go lie down on that bed for me honey?’ she requests without looking up. Liam nods, standing up slowly and walking over to the mattress (with Zayn’s strong arm still guiding him).

He sits and then lies down, smiling in anticipation of seeing his baby. Neelam walks over a moment later with a wand and a pot of the cold gel.

‘Could you please lift up your shirt?’ She asks him, not looking as she plugs in the monitor. Liam blushes, and pushes back his shirt as little as possible so the gel can be spread properly.

She giggles girlishly when she turns back, ‘Oh my God, I’m getting to see Liam Payne’s killer abs here. God help me!’

While Liam giggles, Zayn almost frowns because _why does she seem to know so much about his abs?_

She must notice though, because the next thing she says is ‘Woah Mr Malik, don’t look so constipated, I’m not out to steal him from you’

_Ha._

Liam blushes and Zayn can see the red tinging his body too (because Liam’s one of those people who does those full body blushes), causing Zayn to smirk.

‘Am I going to lose my abs and muscles when I’m heavily pregnant?’ he asks nervously as she gets back to adjusting the monitor settings.

She turns back to him for a second with a sheepish smile, ‘Unfortunately yes. But the good thing is that males tend to have a slightly higher metabolism than females anyway. So any weight you gain from binging during the pregnancy ( _Liam squawks at that, and Zayn and her smile amusedly_ ) can be lost easily with minimal effort from you once you have enough energy to move around after conception’

‘That’s good’ Liam sighs in relief with a smile. She turns to the bed, snaps on a pair of white latex gloves and opens the pot of the cold blue jelly.

‘This is gonna be cold’ she warns him sympathetically, and spreads some of the gel around on his lower abdomen.

Liam shudders slightly, small giggles erupting from his sinful lips and _Zayn’s so deep in love._

_This is right where he wants to be._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments always make me smile when i'm avoiding homework to write up another chapter of this, soo i wouldn't mind any comments whether it be constructive criticism or just oMG MPREG LIAM MY FAVE (bc that's so not me on every preggo liam fic i find)   
> i might delete this chapter bc i'm not sure if it's a bit too abrupt or anything, liam discovering he's pregnant after nearly half a year! that's such a long time... if y'all could give me an opinion on that, it'd be super!  
>  :) xx


	3. pastel.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fighting and emotional counselling from a human pixie keep the plot a bit spicy-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so so so so so much for all the lovely comments so far - it means so much to me :) I've been ill the past few days and my mum banned me from any electronic devices saying I'd just worsen my condition by not taking rest, so forgive me if this chapter's quite horrendous bc it's something I whipped up in about 2 hours in the aftermath of high fever :)

 

_A few days later._

**@zaynmalik: @gigihadid and i are very happy to confirm we are engaged… love you babe** **❤**

**@gigihadid:** **@zaynmalik** **❤**

Louis sighs down the line, ‘ _Zayn you have to stop fucking with Liam like this. He’s pregnant okay. **Pregnant**. Do I really have to spell it out for you?’_

Zayn grits his teeth, ‘Louis I know that but-‘

_‘No Zayn, you’re not avoiding this topic again. This may not mean as much to you as it does Liam, but he is much more sensitive to these things. I’ll willingly admit that I’ve always been closer to you than Liam, but I might have to take a stand by him this time’_

‘Yes but-‘

_‘I’m legit restraining Harry now from coming over and poisoning you with all those damn hair products of yours. He’s not going to stop himself much longer. **Do something** ’ _

And before Zayn can get another word in, Louis cuts the call.

He stares down at his tweet, wondering what he’s gotten himself into; _impregnating someone, getting engaged to someone else, discovering half a year later that he’s going to be a father, still stuck doing shit for management…_

He sighs audibly, locking his phone and chucking it down to the carpeted floor. _He’s in such a big mess._

Liam stirs beside him, humming something under his breath before going back to sleep again. Zayn smiles fondly and pushes his floppy mohawk off his face before pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead.

He moves his hands down to cup Liam’s rounding tummy, almost giggling at how big his hands are, almost covering it completely.

He can deal with management later, right now all he wants to do is cuddle up to his love and sleep.

 

_Prisoners_

He wakes up to discover no one beside him, mind flashing back to when Liam abandoned him in his cold, cold house.

He widens his eyes, leaps out of bed and runs downstairs in nothing but boxers to find Liam stirring something at the stove.

He sighs in relief and goes up to Liam, wrapping his arms around his petite waist. _You okay babe?_ He murmurs, frowning when Liam tenses against him.

‘How many people exactly do you call ‘babe’?’

Zayn frowns, peeking round Liam’s neck to find his love’s face blotchy and teary. He reaches down to turn the stove off, before swivelling Liam around and pressing him up against the counter.

‘What do you mean, baby?’ he frowns, still sleepy and dazed. Liam attempts to shove him away ( _let-me-go you cheater!_ ), but Zayn holds on tight as ever _– he’s not letting go so easily another time._

Liam sighs, giving up after a few moments, before going slack in Zayn’s arms. ‘I saw your tweet Zayn – you need to make up your mind about this’

He places his hands on his tummy again, looking down affectionately, yet worriedly ( _Zayn wants to kiss that look off his face so bad_ ). ‘I’m not letting my babies become like some divorcee’s children, running from house to house every weekend; confused about who to go to when. I don’t want them to struggle more than other kids their age because their father didn’t grow a pair early enough’

Zayn’s heart breaks at the thought and he tightens his grip around Liam. He arches his spine to bend down and kiss Liam.

_What the fuck are you doing Zayn -?_

His heart flutters at the familiar feeling of Liam’s lips on his, soft yet bitten with anxiety and he realises what he’s missed so badly all along.

Liam doesn’t kiss back though, hands shifting around Zayn’s neck in an attempt to move him again, and rejection has never hit Zayn so hard.

He himself breaks the kiss and gently pushes Liam away. Zayn reaches up and pushes his hair back, one hand on his hip as his lips quiver and eyes start welling up.

Liam looks on blankly, fingers tight around his tummy as if to say - _not this time Zayn. I’m not going to give in just because you start crying._

Zayn gulps audibly, pushing his hands up to cover his face. _‘I’m sorry, okay’_ he breathes wetly.

Liam waits for him to say something, eyebrow raised in concern and anticipation.

‘I love you, and I want this baby’ Zayn starts, and Liam scoffs. ‘But I also love Gigi, and _surely_ you don’t expect me to throw away a relationship of 3 months in a flash because I’m going to be a father?’

Liam laughs bitterly at that, eyes narrowed and forehead creased. ‘ _Oh yeah, not like you threw away a 5 year long relationship for some slut who needs the fame? Of course not! – Zayn Malik wouldn’t do such a-‘_

Liam doesn’t get to finish that statement because next thing he’s shoved up against a wall with a fierce hand wrapped round his throat, another trapping him against the wall.

He widens his eyes (which start filling up immediately and Zayn is still stuck between kissing and punching him because _he has the right to say such stuff without getting yelled at because he’s gosh darn pregnant_ and _everyone will blame it on “raging hormones”_ but _Zayn has nowhere to hide, no faux tears or anything!_ )

‘Stop saying shit about me’ Zayn grits out menacingly, nudging Liam’s scared face up with his knuckles.

**_‘You_** _dumped me and left behind a break up note on a fucking Post-it’_ he hisses, jabbing Liam in the chest, ‘ ** _you_** _thought being melodramatic about being pregnant would make me come back to your sorry ass_.’ He jabs Liam in the chest again, ‘ ** _you_** _thought I’d break off my engagement with Gigi because I made the stupid mistake of fucking you without protection’_

His mind’s so disoriented right now, and he doesn’t know why he’s saying half the stuff that he’s saying because he means near none of it.

But the sense of power it’s giving him over Liam is just fuelling his rant, and he knows he’s going to regret this later but _right now,_ he just needs to vent so, _so_ bad.

‘But **you** were the one who was always up for “sex.”! Even that night, if you remember correctly, you initiated it _Zayn_ ’ Liam hisses, ‘To me it was _love-making._ There’s a bloody difference’

Liam licks his lips when Zayn doesn’t reply, ‘I didn’t advise you to bareback – you were drunk, you said to forget about the damn condom. If you have such an issue with raising children with me, just go back to that bitch’

‘ **She’s not a bitch okay?** ’ Zayn yells, swallowing down the bile about to come up. ‘You’re much more of a bitch than her – a needy, annoying one at that’

 Liam shoves Zayn back weakly, face crumpling as he yells a broken _shut the fuck up_ before walking off, to leave Zayn standing alone with a wok filled with uncooked stir fry.

 

_Then we’re free, it’s a thriller_

Liam ends up leaving the safety of his own house to drive over to Harry’s and Lou’s place, while Zayn debates calling Louis over to get pissed with and mess up the place to fuck with Liam.

He ends up calling Louis, inviting him over with the excuse of ‘stir fry afternoons’ and ‘good stock’.

Louis reaches within an alarmingly quick half an hour with Haagen-Dazs and cheap beer – Zayn loves him so much.

‘So, what’s happened this time with Liam?’ Louis asks him, snapping the metal cork of the beer off with a dick keychain / can and bottle opener Niall had given him for his 24th.

Zayn shrugs, vaguely mutters _hormones_ and Louis frowns at him. ‘You could be a little bit more constructive with your relationship, you know?’ Lou states wisely and _yeah_ , he’s probably right, but the same applies to Liam.

_…Right?_

‘ _Mate_ – he’s gotten all flustered over my tweet’ Zayn states, loud and disbelieving and Louis frowns.

_‘I did warn you’_

Zayn rolls his eyes and throws a segment of bell pepper in Louis’ general direction. ‘He just expects me to ditch Gigi for him and our babies! I mean _c’mon_ – I love her! That’s why I’m now engaged to her – I was ready to marry her but Liam comes along in all his 2nd semester pregnancy glory, spits a whole load of _sentimental bull_ and expects me to leave her?’

‘ _You did impregnate him babe’_ Louis states knowingly, pointing the end of the dick keychain at Zayn.

‘Not my fault my sperm’s potent’ _Or that Liam’s so fuckable_ his brain unhelpfully adds.

‘Zayn’ Louis says, the sudden serious tone to his voice forcing Zayn to actually pay attention. He jumps off a counter top and walks over to the raven-haired lad.

‘You can’t joke about impregnating someone like this babe’ Louis says wide-eyed, placing his hands on Zayn’s shoulders.

‘Can you imagine what Liam’s going through? I already told you about the lengths he went to, to get rid of some imaginary baby fat (‘ _it wasn’t imaginary Louis’_ Zayn adds and Louis digs his nails into his skin) and all those months of work outs and healthy eating are gonna go down the drain – he’s so lucky we’re on hiatus right now, otherwise how would he be able to explain his sudden weight gain’

Zayn frowns deeply, ‘But I’m the one who has to deal with media and management and Gigi’s all worried about the colour scheme of our wedding – Yolanda wants an English wedding and my parents want it traditional and ‘religion-adherent’ like _what does that even mean?-‘_

‘Zayn. Calm down. At least Gigi’s by your side – your ‘true love’ and ‘soulmate’ and everything. Liam had to come back begging you to come take responsibility despite you being the one who actually created the babies in the first damn place. And you - _you_ still think some blonde bitch is more important than the father of your to-be damn kids! Imagine his situation damn it-‘

Zayn growls at that, frustrated. ‘ _Why does everyone think she’s such a bitch, for fuck’s sake?’_

Louis purses his lips, raising his eyebrows as he takes his hands off Zayn’s shoulders. ‘Open your eyes buddy’ is all he says, before grabbing his bottle of beer and walking off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do you think zayn's being irrational (i sure do!) or do you think Liam needs to stop being -quote-melodramatic-unquote- i'd love to see your lovely feedback and comments down below :) i shall try and reply to your comments asap - also, last laaaaast request/question of today; would you like me to end the story once the bab(ies ;)) are born and zayn sorts his shit out, or should i carry on? all the love, hope life treats you well :) xx


	4. havoc.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> basically #zigi updating y'all with all the fic facts - some suspense at the end, yep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much guys for all the support with this fic - hope you appreciate my wonky sense of humour in this chapter. enjoy!  
> p.s. the first article mentioned acc exists, so if you want to check it out (nothing too exciting but y'know - im one of those people who checks out - _frankly rubbish_ \- polyvore outfits that authors have added in their het 1d fics), click the words!

**[Gigi Hadid proves everything is purrfect with Zayn Malik as she posts adorable sleeping selfie of hunky star with cute cat.](http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-3447323/Gigi-Hadid-proves-purrfect-Zayn-Malik-posts-adorable-sleeping-selfie-hunky-star.html) **

Zayn sighs in frustration, searches up Gigi on Skype (luckily she’s online) and clicks call, unnecessarily aggressive. She picks up fairly quickly and he waits patiently for the pixels to blur into something more relevant.

Her hair’s up in some sort of a shabby hairstyle (messy bun? ponytail? God knows what girls call them nowadays-) and she’s wearing a Minnie Mouse jumper that Zayn had got for her on their trip to Disneyland Paris.

_‘Hi Zayn!’_

Zayn resists the urge to roll his eyes – knows she’s just being sweet, but he much prefers bass, honey coated voices (Liam’s) and tattooed, sun-kissed bodies (Liam’s) rather than plain, freckled and death pale skin underneath him.

He sounds like a two-faced teenager.

He makes the Skype window smaller, opens up Gmail in another window before logging in, avoiding glancing at his profile picture - unchanged since _ages_ – of Liam and him.

‘ _I got some classy hampers from the VS fashion show the other day, you’d love them – there’s some ace lingerie in there!’’_

Zayn smiles distractedly, nibbling at his nails as he searches up the _Modest!_ E-mail ID.

 _‘Perfect for that date night we’re going to have when we meet, right?! I’m so excited babe, almost can’t wait till then’_ she smirks cattish-ly at the end of the sentence.

Zayn winces slightly, knows she’s trying to initiate Skype sex, but he’s really not in the mood. Besides he doesn’t think he’s physically capable of orgasming over women for the moment.

‘ _Hold on – I’m wearing one right now, I’ll show you! Kendall said this one really suited my skin tone-‘_

He just about holds back from opening his mouth about Kendall. It’s so obvious that Kendall has a thing for her, and as her boyfriend he should really be more concerned than he is.

‘ _It’s got these pretty bows and frills too!’_ she squeals excitedly, teasing her fingers under the hem of her jumper top.

Zayn nods, not really paying attention as he starts composing a formal e-mail to his management.

‘ _Do you wanna get into a more comfortable position?’_ she suggests in a sultry voice.

Zayn looks up at that, ‘No, no it’s fine – I actually have to talk to you about something’ and shakes his head at the camera.

She looks understandably confused at that, sits down nonetheless; Zayn’s always been up for sex.

_Hell that’s the understatement of the century; Zayn’s life is basically sex, sleep, eat, tweet, repeat._

‘Babe you know that pic of me you posted the other day? With your cat?

She nods with a small smile, ‘ _Yeah – Kendall and I thought it’d be cute to Instagram it, give the fans something to talk about-‘_ H _e_ zones out as she starts rambling again, composing the E-mail with great care instead.

When she finishes her little rant about ‘Zigi shippers’, he decides to open his mouth ‘We discussed privacy right? I don’t want the fans to know I’m with you whenever I am!’  

 _‘Zayn, you can barely even see you in that post of mine! Besides – management loved it!’_ She says, smile fading off her face slowly. 

He grits his teeth, tightening his grip around the tattered photograph of Liam and him, the one he cried over for days when they broke up.

‘ _People don’t even know it’s you! Even if they do, they’ll speculate! Our careers will sky rock-‘_

‘Liam’s pregnant’ He stops typing, maximises the Skype window just in time to see her widen her eyes exaggeratedly.

He waits with bated breath, tapping at the surface of the laptop tensely.

‘ _Zayn?’_ she sounds nervous now.

He looks up sheepishly, ‘Yeah?’

‘ _Is that why you’re always at his place? Do you want to break up with me?’_

‘Yeah – I’m, I-I’m sorry but I can’t carry on like this, y’know. Making a cup of coffee with marshmallows and sprinkles and exactly 3 chocolate squares knowing that’s _his_ favourite drink. Or going to _Boots_ and almost buying _lube_ because I keep forgetting I’m not with him anymore’

She furrows her eyebrows and lets go of her sweater, shrinking back into the mass of pillows behind her.

_‘Oh’_

‘I’m really sorry Gigi – I wasn’t planning for anything like Th-‘

 _‘Things like this don’t just come unplanned Zayn’_ she says with a disbelieving look on her face.

_Silence._

‘ _So all these months’_ she starts with a frown, ‘ _you weren’t just hanging out with him for your new album or something?’_

Zayn scrunches up his nose, ‘No! He’s still in the band – I-I can’t work with ‘im because he’s still in the band’

Gigi rolls her eyes and leans forward, pulling the laptop towards her. Guilt comes up in the form of bile as Zayn spots her profile picture in the side panel; Gigi and him making out in the _Pillow talk_ video.

‘He’s going solo too babe – during their “hiatus” ( _Gigi always thought that was their gradual way of smoothing into the end of One Direction_ _without the fans complaining about abruptness and committing suicide, etc._ ), he’s been posting little clips of him rapping about threesomes and shit’

Zayn widens his eyes, automatically moving over to look at Liam’s offline profile along the side – _no way this boy would be singing about threesomes! He didn’t even know why the fans called him “daddy” until someone explained it to him!_

‘ _You should really follow his Instagram – for someone who’s fathering his child, you’re pretty damn clueless’_

‘Children’ Zayn finds himself correcting her, and she widens her eyes dramatically.

_‘Damnnn – mate, I knew your sperm was potent but this!’_

He blushes and scratches the side of his neck sheepishly; hardly comfortable to be talking about the potency of his sperm to his girlfriend-until-3 minutes-ago.

 _‘Listen Zayn – I’m gonna go now, Kendall’s gonna be here in a few and I need to tidy up a bit’_ she says, hint of a smile on her face.

Zayn rolls his eyes and mutters a _go out with her already_ under his breath. She furrows her eyebrows and leans forward (Zayn can’t decide if he should tell her about her cleavage showing in that jumper anymore), ‘ _What was that?’_

‘I said go out with her already – she’s pining, you’re always talking about her, just stop and go out together’

Gigi laughs and swats at the screen, ‘ _You git, first you break up with me and to make me feel better you suggest I go out with my best friend instead? Didn’t know you had a brain working in that hairy head of yours, Malik’_

Zayn frowns, corners of his lips twitching up slightly. ‘I’m blessed with thick hair, what can I say? And no – I didn’t just come up with that, I’ve noticed since quite a bit. You guys should go out – if and when you do, you better post something and tag me as ‘relationship creds’’

She laughs loud this time and chucks a furry pillow at the screen ‘ _What happened to “I’m shit with techno. Don’t judge. Ha”_ _You’re catching up with the shoutout trend, finally!’_

Zayn pouts, ‘Shut up’ and Gigi rolls her eyes.

_‘Anyways, bye now!’_

‘Bye!’

She blows him a kiss and waves with a smile, before reaching forward and shutting the laptop screen.

He finishes typing up his e-mail to _Modest!_ Before flopping back against the bed and grabbing his phone. He goes over to the Instagram app, and finds one of the fan accounts he follows and before long he finds Liam’s Instagram; _@fakeliampayne_ – how ironic.

He quickly taps the ‘Follow’ button, before vowing to check out his posts later and chucking his phone to the side and lazing against the bed, tapping his foot against his raised knee.

_What is life anymore?_

 

_Climb on board_

 

He is woken up from his (long) nap to a fuming Liam typing away rather violently, the tinny sound of some Usher song buzzing in the background.

‘Liam?’ he says quietly, sitting up while rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. Liam ignores him, typing even louder if possible.

Zayn rolls over in his self-made cocoon, until he’s resting his hands on Liam’s feet, supporting his head and peering up at his 5 month pregnant beau through his long lashes.

_Well, if Liam even considers them that anymore – beaus that is._

 Liam tugs his feet away and Zayn’s head drops. The raven-haired lad whines and shakes Liam’s feet gently.

_‘Baaaaabe’_

Liam tugs one bud out of his ear, hisses _don’t call me that you fucker_ before dropping his laptop to one side and stomping off.

Zayn raises an eyebrow, watching as Liam battles with the bathroom door, before growling out a litany of curses and elbowing the door open.

He hurries in and slams the door behind him, setting off a tense silence.

_Why Liam is angry, God knows._

Zayn crawls up the bed (once he’s sure Liam’s going to be in there for quite a bit) and grabs Liam’s laptop from the wrinkled sheets.

He purses his lips when Liam’s old screensaver comes up; 16 year old version of himself with straws poking out of a headband his sisters put on him, and coming out through his nostrils and mouth.

It isn’t hard to figure out Liam’s password, since Liam’s one of those people who violently clicks the OK button on the password expiry window and smugly muses _‘that’s how you do it’_ before carrying on with his work.

The article that comes up surprises him; **_Zayn follows Liam on Instagram; something blossoming between the ex-band members?_**

He scans over the article, finds out a bunch of facts about Liam going solo over the hiatus, finds a comment that has him dying with laughter (Micky James: _Yh – blossoming like the chocolate goddess in Pillow Talk’s vagina flower_ ), and all in all, evening well spent.

At the end of it, he’s left wondering if he should actually open up to his fan base about their… relationship? It _would_ spark some hate (as he discovered when Louis got Briana pregnant), but he wants to let everyone know he’s in love with this stupid boy with stupidly beautiful eyes and some ethereal-sculpted-arse.

 _Let’s wait for a reply from management – then we’ll see_ Zayn thinks to himself, before closing his eyes and humming some old 1D tune to lull himself to sleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> zayn's pink hair zayn's pink hair zayn's pink hair zayn's pink hair -


	5. retrieval.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> zayn planning some cute-sy shit to get angry liam to calm down. 
> 
> (a/n: might take a while for liam to sort his shit out, so hang in there :)) x

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> imma kinda smooth into this fic, so if you're waiting for liam to give up being angry in the next chapter; not happening (probably). i like tension + relationship problems (trust me, my mum's concerned about my angsty side) sooo yeah. in some fics, things just happen too quick (if you're gonna go comment "U HYPOCRITE" in the comment section, _je suis desolee_ , but IDGAF. Already had to delete 3 of those after sassing them back.  
> I'm not one of them authors that go:  
> Chapter 1 - BAM! Break up.  
> Chapter 2 - PREGNANT WITH TRIPLETS AYYE  
> Chapter 3 - juST KIDDING I MEANT QUADRUPLETS 
> 
> enjoyyy.x

**Gigi Hadid and ex – One Direction band member Zayn Malik’s warzone arrived?**

‘Zayn if you’re living in my house, you’ll need to actually get off your lazy arse and help out’ Liam hisses as he trips over the vacuum wire for the 5th time in a row. ‘ _What are you evening doing? Planning a date with Gigi?’_ he snorts, rolling his eyes when Zayn doesn’t reply.

Zayn nods, not really paying attention as his sisters text him everything that has been finalised for this evening.

_Doni: Hotel room_ _✔_ _wid hot tub, mini fridge, queen size bed w roses & flowers and everything booked (tho lil bro i will be ashamed if u try 2 initate nything while he’s this far along!)– will text u the address when im off my shift:  GL _ _;)_ _xxxx_

_Wali_ _ <3_ _:  Okie, I’ve booked the restaurant + everything, everything else is for you to handle; go get him tiger_ _J_ _! x_

_Saf_ _❤_ _: bhaiya u better not hurt him again ok ? he is my fave member of 1D ( u used to be, but u decided to go and leave !!!! ) all the best !_ _:* xxx_

This evening is dedicated solely to Liam. He’s planned some pretty elaborate shit, and if this doesn’t improve their situation, he won’t know _what_ will!

He’s off Modest! within a few weeks – Louis thinks it’s one of the smartest decisions he’s made lately.

 _Within a few weeks, Liam’s pregnancy trimester will be over and done with too_ , he realises with a smile which is immediately replaced by a frown when he realises Liam and him still aren’t on speaking terms.

 _And,_ he hasn’t yet got the opportunity to spoil Liam like a prince, which he’ll have to get a start on soon (while Liam doesn’t have the energy or the ability to argue about “wasting money” or their relationship status).

He throws his phone down beside him, before leaping off the couch and stumbling over to where Liam is untangling the endless length of wire for the umpteenth time.

He snatches the wire from Liam’s hands and holds it up high, stretching as much as he can without slipping in his black fluffy socks.

_‘Give it back Zayn!’_

Liam furrows his eyebrows and reaches up too, teetering dangerously on his tip toes as he makes grabby hands for the roll.

Zayn shakes his head endearingly, and wraps an arm round Liam’s waist, tugging him in close as Liam gasps, caught off guard, ‘Zayn what the fuck-‘

Zayn leans his face downwards, until their noses are pressed together and their eyes can’t go too low without settling on each other’s lips. His warm breath fans over Liam’s lips, and Liam goes slack in his arms (but he still keeps his arm stretched up because Liam is a little shit and will start reaching for it again the moment Zayn drops it to his height).

‘Come out with me this evening, and I’ll give it back’ Zayn murmurs, voice deep and sultry. Liam gulps visibly, but puts on an expression of annoyance anyway (pfft, like the sultry voice doesn’t turn him on).

‘Where?’

‘Know the meaning of surprise, babe?’

‘Hm – not when I’m pregnant and could harm our baby, no’ Liam sasses back, making a weak attempt to wriggle out of Zayn’s grip.

Zayn snorts, ‘Okay… just an evening out then’

‘Where will you take me that meets my standards though?’ Liam replies, hint of a cocky smile playing at his lips.

 ‘Trust me honey, I met your standards, didn’t I?’ Zayn murmurs, dropping the cord of wire from his hands as discreetly as possible.

He can feel Liam’s tummy bulging taut against his pelvis, and he’s overcome by the realisation that within 5 months (4 according to Neelam), his babies will be here.

He presses his lips against a blushing Liam’s and wraps both his arms around his world (slightly plumper than it ought to be, but his world nevertheless).

Liam sighs into the kiss, reaching up to place his hand on Zayn’s chest with an air of giving in.

 _‘Zayn’_ said person opens his eyes and flutters his eyelashes down at Liam hopefully, _‘_ I was going to spend the evening with Soph – she said she’d help me with some issues’

_Ugh Sophia Smith – what problems could Sophia help out with that Zayn can’t?_

His expression must say a lot though, because next thing Liam’s smiling proudly and pulling away from Zayn. ‘Just… pregnancy problems – some… _ahh_ corazon a corazon?’

 ‘ _Jaan’_ he whines, jutting out his bottom lip with wide doe eyes.

Liam flushes and rubs his eyes with his fists, a bit dazed. Their babies are getting to that stage where they’re too awake to let him sleep.

He pulls Liam back in again, snaking his arms round his hips again, subjecting him to the puppy dog eyes until he finally gives in.

‘Fine’ Liam mutters in a martyred tone. Zayn grins so wide, he can practically see his teeth reflecting off Liam’s eyes.

 _‘_ Now let me go, _your kid_ needs to pee _again_ ’

 

_Nobody but you, ‘body but me_

 

_15:30_

Zayn was disappointed when he saw Liam’s getup. Liam too looked scandalised when the realisation dawned that Zayn had (for once) _planned a real date_. Usually, Zayn gives off all these hints of fancy eateries, only to say _‘What, you don’t think Pizza Express is fancy?!’_

Zayn got _all_ decked up; used hair gel for the first time in 3 weeks, wriggled his way into a tuxedo suit from _probably his Year 11 prom,_ squeezed his 6 foot self into a 5 foot cupboard for 15 minutes, just to find those stupid long-toed shoes he’d left at Liam’s house when he stayed back after the 2013 Brits to celebrate (fuck him), and _Liam?!_

Black tee. Black skinny jeans. Black boots. Fluffy hair. Cute li’l pregnant tummy. (Still adorable).

 _At least he shaved though!_ Zayn hasn’t trimmed his beard since the past 3 months or so, and _all_ Gigi went on about (when they were dating) was how it gave her beard burns around her inner thighs.

‘Liam just go change’ Zayn admonishes, pointing to Liam’s (their) bedroom with a stern look.

Liam huffs, shaking his head as he crosses his arms like a petulant child. ‘ _No –_ you’re not pregnant, _I am_ ’

Zayn massages his temples with his hand, his arm hurting from holding it up so long – _why_ _must you be so unfit, feeble body?_ – ‘Liam, go’

His stubborn partner shakes his head again, looking a bit more hesitant second time round.

Zayn sighs and walks over to Liam (who looks like he’s ready to cry) and sweeps him off his feet, before carrying him bridal style to the bedroom.

He puts him down at the end of the bed, and steps back before leaning against a cupboard and tapping his foot impatiently.

Liam rolls his eyes, ‘Can you at least give me some privacy?’

Zayn rolls his eyes too, imitating Liam crudely, ‘Been together 5 years or so now, you’re pregnant; privacy is non-existent between us babe’

Liam groans and hunches over to the cupboard, _‘Oooh privacy is non-existent! We’ve been together 5 years now – even after I cheated on you because I’m a dipshit blah blah blah meh muh meh-‘_

‘Liam’ Zayn snaps.

‘ _What?’_ Liam snaps back even more threateningly. Zayn shrinks back into the cupboard.

‘… Nothing’

Liam nods, satisfied and opens the cupboard, sighing loudly and exaggeratedly. One by one he picks out each item of clothing, a dismissive look on his face.

Finally, he goes with the suit he wore to the VS fashion show with Sophia. He peels off his shirt, turning his back to Zayn – who has the decency to pull out his phone and do a mini like spree over Instagram.

‘ _Can we go now?’_ he whines when Liam’s done.

Liam frowns at his reflection in the mirror, swivelling on his heels just as he’s about to leave.

‘Zayn – I look _fat_ ’ he sighs miserably, pouting childishly at himself.

The raven-haired lad shoves his phone back into his pocket, and goes over to Liam – who’s eyeing his cute little pregnant tummy rather sadly – and sweeps him right off his feet (again).

‘I don’t think I’d be able to pick up a _“fat”_ person’ Zayn grins, rocking Liam back and forth a little bit.

Liam giggles breathlessly, covers his tummy with his hands protectively ( _as if_ Zayn would drop him anyway _!_ )

‘Okay, _okay!_ Point proven – now PUT ME _DOWN!’_ Liam yells. Zayn winces and drops him on to the bed, before pulling at his lobe.

‘Can you see me ears bleeding?’ Zayn groans, scrunching up his entire face.

‘Aww shut up Zayn’ Liam smiles, sticking his tongue out.

‘Don’t scream babe’ he hisses.

‘Should I be doing that other places then?’ Liam mumbles, licking his lips before smiling.

Zayn almost chokes on air, caught completely off guard with that one. Liam’s usually the one wincing at bad jokes and slapping Zayn and Louis around the head when they make stupid dirty jokes.

_But it has him turned on anyway._

‘M-Maybe we should get going… soon?’ Zayn suggests and Liam almost smirks at his dilated, darkened pupils and his sudden stutter.

‘Let’s’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi so i'm back almost a month later, but i've had a hectic month. discovered i have a severe iron deficiency, and as a result my periods are almost 2 weeks long which is truly _draining_ , and also i have severe fatigue, and thanks to unreliable british weather have had a really bad sore throat for a month and a half now. 
> 
> i really hope this chapter met some set standard though (psht non-existent), and pls pls appreciate my dry, wonky sense of humour :') 
> 
> take care queens - feedback + criticism down below! xxx


	6. purify.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> part 2 of the date (: 1 more part to go before I continue with the plot *touchwood*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> quick update, wey hey craic daddy! typed this up within 2 days after boycotting all my other homework, so I hope this is decent.

_All of the rumours_

‘Oh Zayn – get over it. It was a _joke_ ’ Liam sighs, placing his hand over Zayn’s as he settles into the car.

Zayn licks his chapped lips, ‘No – no, it’s fine. I just wasn’t… uh prepared? For that one? Like I haven’t had sex in months now…’

Liam rolls his eyes as belts himself in, before shrinking into the seat and placing his hands on his tummy. ‘Yeah, yeah – getting your hands involved counts as sex too honey’

Zayn blushes fiery red and bats at Liam’s hands blindly ‘ _Shut up –_ this is the bare minimum I can do to satisfy my libido’ they start to drive.

Liam hums, reaching forward to turn on the radio, _TGIF_ by Katy Perry coming on immediately with the excuse of _Throwback Thursday_. He groans and tries to switch the channel but Zayn slaps his hand away, bobbing his head along to the beat.

 _‘Ohmigosh –_ _you_ like Katy Perry?!’

Zayn turns to him with a betrayed look on his face. ‘ _You like her too though, you hypocrite?!’_ He spits in astonishment as he brings the car to a stop at the signal.

Liam flushes, turning to face the window awkwardly. There’s silence in the car for a few seconds before Zayn starts mouthing the lyrics to the song under his breath, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel.

Liam rolls his eyes and turns to Zayn with a disdainful look on his face. ‘Sing if you must, if you know the lyrics and everything’

Zayn smirks and opens his mouth, _‘Pictures of last night ended up online, I’m screwed, oh well’_ He then eyes Liam as if he expects Liam to continue the song.

Katy fills the silence in for them as Zayn challenges Liam with his eyes. Dares him to sing 2011 Katy Perry songs, because Zayn’s a little shit that way.

Liam takes a deep breath and hums the _damn_ part before starting with the chorus. ‘ _Last Friday night, yeah we danced on table-tops, and we took too many shots, think we kissed but I forgot’_ he presses two of his fingers to his lips and then Zayn’s with a shit-eating grin.

Zayn looks impressed, as he starts the car again, continuing the chorus with an evident attempt at being “cool”. Drumming his fingers, and bobbing his head as he sings classily, ‘ _Last Friday night, yeah we maxed our credit cards, and got kicked out of the bar so we hit the boulevards’_

Liam doesn’t need a signal to know it’s his turn again, ‘ _Last Friday night, we went streaking in the park, skinny dipping in the dark then had a ménage á trois. Last Friday night, yeah I think we broke the law, always say we’re gonna stop’_

‘ _Oh Woah oh. This Friday night’_ Zayn joins in at the next line. ‘ _Do it all again’_ Liam harmonises, and Zayn whips his head round, surprised and lets out a wolf whistle.

Liam blushes and they both burst out laughing so Katy carries on by herself from there. After they have their 5 minutes of drugged happiness, Zayn smirks, remembering Lilo’s antics to this song.

‘Remember when Louis and you proper acted out the whole song in the tour bus that one time? You and Louis acted out the whole song. Louis was grinding into you? – And from that moment, the world knew Liam Payne was a bottom’

Liam widens his eyes, squealing in humiliation. He covers his mouth with his hands and laughs disbelievingly. ‘ _You remember **that**?! _ You pervert!’ he exclaims, eyes twinkling.

Zayn shrugs, smirk pulling at his lips. ‘Well, I was desperate enough for good wank material that I saved the image in my head’

Liam snorts, high-pitched and silly, and grabs the fluffy blanket hanging off the back of his seat, whacking it against Zayn’s side. ‘Disgusting you are’

‘Then why did you choose me to have a kid with?’ Zayn smirks, bringing back the awkward silence. That shuts Liam up for the rest of the ride

 

_All of the fights_

Liam goes to open the door, but Zayn shoves him back against the seat and rushes round to open it for him. Instead of a pleased Liam Payne, he’s met with a pissed one.

‘ _Zayn can you act like an adult? If you manage to do something to our babies 5 months before they’re born, I’m not letting you even have custody of them’_

Zayn rolls his eyes and holds out his hand for Liam to grab. Instead Liam kicks his shin, and gets out of the car as Zayn takes a few moments to wince against the car door.

‘ _That hurt’_ Zayn whines, but Liam ignores him, walking on.

‘Liam where are you going _?_ ’ Zayn yells, pulling his hands off his legs and hopping after Liam. Said person shrugs, ‘To the restaurant?’

_‘That’s a strip club Liam’_

Liam widens his eyes and turns around, cheeks flaming as he searches for a comeback. ‘Oh look, further proof that I’m drawn towards dicks. First you, and now this’

‘Shut up Liam’ Zayn snaps, putting his foot down with a grimace.

‘Don’t tell me to shut up Zayn, just tell me where the fuck this restaurant is! I’m hungry and so are my kids, okay?’ Liam hisses, emphasising his point by squeezing his small hands over his tummy.

Zayn rolls his eyes and stomps forward, wrapping his hand around Liam’s wrist. He groans, trying to tug Liam forward without dislocating his arm. ‘ _Shit when did you get so heavy?’_

‘Shut up you wanker, I didn’t say I couldn’t walk did I? And you don’t have a great stamina either! The last time I checked, I wasn’t the one who bought a whole fucking treadmill to keep in the house’

‘Liam that was once, I genuinely thought-‘

‘… Before using it once and losing footing. I wasn’t the one who twisted my damn ankle on a treadmill, was I?’

Zayn stops, turning to Liam with a glare. ‘I am fit, okay. But I’m more of a long distance cross country runner, not the tosser who sets the treadmill to its highest speed and leaves it there for someone to die on’

‘You can’t even last 20 minutes when you’re hard, you don’t even have the righ-‘Liam starts, before Zayn blocks him out, putting his hands over his ears and wailing tunelessly.

Liam pulls his hands off his ears and yells as loudly as he can, ‘CAN WE GO NOW’

‘ _FINE_ just … Stop. Yelling!’

 

_But we always find a way to make it out alive_

The pair discover a run-down building, vine leaves creeping up the sides and faded couple names etched into the old cement.

Zayn takes Liam to the highest floor in a lift with grill doors _(‘If you kill me, I will have my parents sue you I swear to-‘)_.   

The lift stops with a high-pitched creak at the terrace. Zayn pulls open both the grill doors with a big, loud heave, leaving Liam smirking at him.

They step upon a sight for sore eyes; the indigo sky dotted with silver pearls of stars and the full moon shining overhead.

Zayn doesn’t see what’s special, but evidently Liam does, who covers his mouth with his hands and takes a few steps forward, gasping softly.

‘ _Where did you find this place?’_

Zayn shrugs, pocketing his hands as he strolls forward, searching for any sight of his initial plan. He spots a small bistro table just a few meters away from the edge of the terrace, an extinguished candle and some disgusting napkins and cutlery on the table, dusty and rusted.

_What the fuck Wali_

Liam comes up behind him as he tries to set off a spark with the small box of matches provided, sighing in frustration every time he breaks a match.

‘Need help there, macho?’

Zayn huffs, handing over the box to Liam, before strolling a few meters away and calling Waliyha on his phone (which by the way has barely _any_ signal).

‘ _Zayn! How’s the date going?’_

The raven haired lad groans, ‘Terrible. Liam’s pissed at me, and your “restaurant” is a living shit-hole’

_‘What?! Sayeed works there, and it’s a great place! It’s outdoors and it’s so pretty’_

‘Have you ever been here?’ Zayn hisses, cupping his hand over his mouth as he turns back to face Liam, furrowing his eyebrows at the stupid matches.

‘ _… No, but Sayeed did say-‘_

‘Stop’ Zayn groans, massaging his temples with his fingers. ‘Liam’s pissed at me, at least tell me what I should do about that’

At that moment, Liam comes up behind him, wrapping his arms around his waist and leaning up to nuzzle his neck despite Zayn being stupidly tall.

‘I got the matches working’ Liam whispers, smiling. He nips at Zayn’s neck and Zayn groans softly, batting him away with his arse. Liam flushes crimson, ‘ _Join me soon babe’_ before turning and walking back to the table.  

‘ _Doesn’t sound very pissed to me honey’_

Zayn smiles reluctantly, ‘Yeah, well, no thanks to you. I’ll deal with you later – right now, I’ve got a date to get back on track’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> now if you think this is too cliché and filmy, _know that i'm a die-hard SRK x Kajol Bollywood shipper and get over it._ It's kinda programmed in my genealogy (please tell me I didn't make up a word). 
> 
> feeedbacckkkk - i don't think i've replied to any of your lovely comments in ages, but i will definitely check soon! 
> 
> meanwhile, leave me your NOTP (two or more people you would **never** ship together), favourite ZAYN song and favourite 1D song (ALBUM: MITAM) (: 
> 
> mine:   
> notp: zouis (bc it's cute as a bromance but nOT A ROMANCE)  
> ZAYN song: iT's yoU (bc it reminds me of "muskuraane ki wajah" or "khamoshiya" or some arijit singh song, and it's so soulful and personal and zIAM ZIAM ZIAM)  
> 1D song from MITAM: A.M or If I could fly bc zIAM lARRY MY BABIES
> 
> x


	7. revelations.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> liam clarifies their relationship status, and the restaurant plan's kinda gone down the drain because zayn needs to make love to liam for what is probably one of their last times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> third? smut scene i've ever ever written, please feedback on it! unfortunately, this is not beta-read, as I have posted this at around 10:30 in the night and alia loves me, but not enough to bare with my bullshit so late in the night (: enjoy!

‘ _How on ear-earth_ did y-you get those s-stupid matches to, to work?’ Zayn mumbles, awestruck as he puts his phone back in his pocket, turning round to find Liam sitting on the concrete, long-toed shoes strewn somewhere.

He furrows his eyebrows and walks back to his love, shivering in the cold London winds and deeply regretting not bringing a coat.

‘ _W-Why are y-you sitting on the gro-ground?’_ Zayn chatters out, taking a seat next to Liam, a few meters away from the table.

Shrugging mildly, Liam stretches his legs out over the edge of the roof and points his toes together, jiggling them round a bit in a pair of Zayn socks a fan tossed at him during a concert.

‘There’s no chairs’ he says simply, smiling as he turns to look at Zayn.

And in that moment, Zayn realises why he pushed Liam out of his mind as much as possible, after the breakup. He didn’t want to face those brown eyes twinkling mischievously at him, he didn’t want to see the dim moonlight catch Liam’s blemish-less face like that (he doesn’t realise the way he’s leaning in). He didn’t want to see Liam smile at him like Zayn _meant something to him –_ he was something more, something more than “buy child get dad free” baggage.

He doesn’t want to see Liam leaning in to him like this, eyes fluttering between half-lidded and open in some effortlessly endearing way; flitting between his lips and eyes as if daring him to pull back, shuck everything and deny, deny that Liam is his everything. His life. _His chaand._

Zayn closes his eyes, heart thumping loudly in his ears as Liam’s soft lips touch his (he didn’t want to feel that fizz travel up his arm either). The quiet night world round them freezes as Zayn tugs Liam forward, distance between them suffocating him.

Liam whimpers as Zayn reaches to place his hands on his tummy, covering his babies, creating a safe haven for them, but he doesn’t think they’ll need it, with such a strong father already bearing the pain they gave him, he’s not sure they’ll need him.

He wonders what things would be like if Liam decided to give up on him. Suppose if Liam had called… Andy; if he had called _Andy_ instead of _Zayn_ when he was close to giving up. Or if those pills, scattered by his side – gateway to instant death – went down his throat, rather than being disposed of.

With that thought, he squeezes Liam, possessively, a low growl breaking past his lips. ‘Mine’ he hisses, softly nipping at Liam’s lips, moving his hands up to cradle Liam’s face.

Liam shivers at that and pries Zayn’s fingers off his skin with wavering fingers. He pulls away from Zayn, shivering in the cold night air.

Zayn opens his eyes, going in for a kiss again and Liam stops him again, placing a hand on his chest and keeping him from coming close.

‘Liam, I lov-‘

Liam shakes his head, ‘No Zayn. You don’t. Once our kids are born, you’re going to get away again’

Zayn widens his eyes, reaching for Liam’s hands. Liam backs away calmly.

‘I love you babe-‘Zayn murmurs, distraught as he searches Liam’s eyes for any emotion.

_Nothing._

‘Zayn’ Liam starts monotonously, ‘Don’t overcomplicate stuff. We’re in a relationship until the kids are here because I need your help. After that, we go our separate ways’

Zayn snorts, leaning forward as he cups his hands under his face with fake intrigue, ‘Yeah Liam, that’s why you’re so eager to fuck all the time. Because we’re going to split up in a few months, right? So I’m a one-night stand, _but_ for 5 months’

‘What are you on abou-‘

Snorting again, Zayn smiles lopsidedly, ‘Just today, for example. You’re so eager when it comes to sex with me-‘

Liam raises one eyebrow in sympathy, ‘You didn’t think I was being serious with the reference did you?’

Zayn widens his eyes, hands fidgeting shakily as he licks his lips. He almost flops back against the ground and curls up in humiliation. ‘No – I knew you were joking, of course-‘

‘Ohmigosh you actually thought I was being serious’ Liam groans, resting against the balls of his palms (his biceps tense and Zayn has a moment of salivation). Liam rubs one hand over his face, frowning tiredly like he’s got a headache coming on.

‘Listen’ Liam says softly, sounding fed up, ‘The only reason I called you back was because I need someone’s help while I’m pregnant and have physical limitations-‘

‘You don’t, you were vacuuming the whole damn house just the other day-‘

‘-and who better for that purpose than the father of the babies?’ Liam continues, frowning nonchalantly.

‘After I’ve conceived’, Liam starts, leaning forward as he grabs Zayn’s hands, squeezing them in his own. Zayn waits with bated breath. ‘We’re done. For good’

‘ _What?’_

‘Yeah – that’s why I didn’t want you to break up with Gigi. It’s pointless – I’m not going to welcome you back with open arms if you officially break up with her!’ Liam purses his lips as Zayn sniffs, hurt.

Zayn tugs his hands out of Liam’s, jumping to his feet as reality whacks him in the face.

_Liam’s basically using him as a handmaid. He doesn’t want him back. He doesn’t get to be a part of his kids’ lives._

‘Then wh-what… what about you s-still acting all … “couple-y” and “lovey-dovey” around me? Wha-what’s the deal wi’ that?’ Zayn stutters, tugging his hair between his fingers.

Liam stands up too at that (with evident difficulty). He steps closer to Zayn and holds Zayn’s hands in his, again.

‘Well – I miss you, not gonna lie’ Liam gives him the “don’t make a big deal out of what I just said” look.

‘Might as well milk these remaining months if we’re staying under the same roof’ he clarifies, shrugging limply. 

Zayn hisses, clamping his hands around Liam’s waist, whispers Liam’s own lyrics into their small, personal space.

_Baby let me love you goodbye._

 

_naina ashq na ho_

[don’t cry, dear eyes]

 

After getting Chinese takeaway from some hidden shop a few meters away from the building, the pair rush back to their car in sudden pouring rain – evidently having decided that the roof place was pretty helpless.

They clamber into the backseat with their fold-up paper cartons, giggling like teenagers and shaking their heads around, hair spraying water everywhere as they peel off their wet outer jackets.

Liam opens his box first, breaking their reverie, grinning wide-eyed down at his noodles. He grabs the plastic fork and digs into the meal quietly, licking at the sweet’n’sour sauce lingering on his lips.

Zayn watches him for a few moments, ravish the meal hungrily, before keeping aside his box and sliding further up the seat, nearer Liam.

Liam looks up questioningly for a second, before returning to his food. Zayn smiles wordlessly and slowly pulls the box out of his hands.

Liam frowns, turning to Zayn, question on the tip of his tongue, when Zayn pushes his lips against his own in a soft, mellow kiss.

‘Z-Zayn what-‘

Zayn shushes him, presses his lips to Liam’s again, kicking his shoes off the seats as he lies down on top of Liam. They gaze into each other’s eyes for a few moments, before pressing their lips together again, wet and more fierce, _passionate._

Liam fists Zayn’s shirt weakly as he nips at Zayn’s bottom lip, evoking a muffled groan from the latter. He shivers in his wet clothes, unbuttons his ex’s shirt with shaky fingers.

Zayn pulls back, resting their foreheads together as they breathe shakily, sounds merging in the midst of water pattering against the metal of the car. He watches lovingly as Liam undoes each button with sheer concentration.

Once that’s off, they speed up, still silent. Shirts, trousers, socks and shoes end up in damp piles at the end of the seat as Zayn fishes for the handy bottle of lube stashed somewhere in a seat pocket.

Liam fists him slow and teasing, fingers teasing the wet slit as he devours every sound Zayn makes. He’s hard and leaking against his bulging tummy, hole clenching around nothing at the sounds his partner is making; every loving, desperate look thrown towards him.

His heart flutters in his chest as Zayn re-appears with the bottle of lube, eyelashes fanning over his cheekbones in a thick, wet sheet, hair wet and slick and one strand overhanging his face; a sight of sheer beauty, a sight for sore eyes; a sight for _his_ eyes.

_Liam don’t think like this, stop being soft._

Zayn bites his lip as he slathers two fingers in lube, looks down at an expectant Liam and kisses him again, slowly pushing his finger in.

Liam gasps, arching his spine desperately at the now unfamiliar sensation. Zayn’s loudly shushing him as he whines; no, _begs_ for more.

Zayn gets a wet hold on his cock, fisting his length to hardness as he moves his finger in and out of Liam, earning muffled moans and watery whines from the man underneath him.

_‘Z-Zayn, more… Ohmigosh more plea-please Zayn!’_

Zayn kisses him, pulling his finger out to circle Liam’s rim, feel it tightening and clenching shakily. He bends down and kisses Liam feverishly, as Liam relaxes under him, loud noises descending to quiet whimpers.

Zayn teases two digits into Liam, watching as Liam’s face (pink at this point) contorts into an expression of pleasure, eyes lolling back to his head.

He’s chanting Zayn’s name along with a litany of swears like a mantra now, hissing for him to “get in there” in a hoarse whisper.

Zayn kisses him, right in the centre of his sternum and pulls his fingers out, cock twitching at Liam’s high, needy whine. He reaches his hand down to pump his cock twice, before squeezing some lube onto his palm and rubbing it over.

Liam, a mess of sweaty limbs and full body blushes looks up at him with such trust and submission that Zayn’s cock is not the only thing leaking anymore.

Zayn wipes at his eyes slightly, before positioning his cock near Liam’s entrance, wet and ready for him.

‘Wait’ Liam says softly, flushing at the sudden attention.

Zayn nods for him to continue and Liam perks his head up, mutters for a condom. Zayn’s heart sinks – Liam really is serious about breaking this off – but he agrees nonetheless, fishing through the seat pockets again for a packet.

He rips the serrated edge with no finesse at all and pushes the latex over his cock, cringing at the slippery, wet feel of it – _he’s not used to this._

He’s only had sex with Gigi twice or thrice, and those were the only times in _years_ he felt the need to use protection.

Pushing his cock into Liam’s wet heat, he groans, bracing his hands against the window ahead. He waits for Liam’s safe word and gets a soft whimper egging him to carry on.

He thrusts slowly into Liam, watching for any expression on Liam’s part. He places his hands over Liam’s tummy as he bucks his hips with increasing speed, groaning not-so-softly now.

Liam chants his name below him, arching and bucking in pain and pleasure. He bends down to kiss Liam again, wet and messy as the pair move their hips in sync.

Zayn teases a finger over the underside of Liam’s cock, watches it come alive underneath him. He fists his length slowly, tightening his grip around the head where he knows Liam is most sensitive.

‘I-I’m close Z-Zee’

Zayn almost stops in surprise at the use of his old nickname, instead sharply thrusts his hips into Liam. The latter moans loudly, twisting his head to muffle his noises; _Zayn’s hit his prostate dead on._

Zayn smirks tightly, thrusts repeatedly against the bundle of nerves until Liam’s groaning and moaning and almost _crying_ , with how sensitive he is, before streaking his stomach white.

Zayn groans, mellows down his thrusts and rolls his hips around until he growls softly and orgasms into the condom.

He softly thumps forward over Liam’s body, pulls his softening cock out and tugs off the condom, before knotting it and chucking it out of the car – he knows it’s not great for the environment and not very hygienic, but it’s the only option right now.

By the time he looks back, Liam’s half dead, hands covering his (sticky) tummy and lips curling into a sleepy smile.

‘I love y-you Zee’ he mumbles, dazed, before passing out on the car seat.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> easter's almost here guys! (: 
> 
> what's your food flavour preference: sweet/sour/salty/spicy?  
> moi: sweet & spicy - like chilli con carne or summat (:


	8. confrontations.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _major_ drama again - zayn's been drinking [watermeloooon]  & liam's pissed at him. they fight [physically] and their babies are potentially at stake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please tell me in the comments section if there ought to be a graphics warning for this chapter! Xx

**“I’m still probably the closest to Liam, we talk on the phone.”** ****  
  
What about?  
  
“He congratulated me on my single. Which was nice. I congratulated him on his Brit Award.”   
  
Sounds very cordial.   
  
“It was a good chat. We hadn’t met in a long time so we want to meet up.”   
  
When did you last see him?   
  
“Probably before I left the band.”   
  


_Thought we were going strong_

Liam rolls his eyes and pokes Zayn in the side, earning a lazy grunt, ‘Um, this is lies’

Zayn doesn’t even look up from his phone as he inhales from the joint, soft sound stirring the peace around them.

‘What?’

Liam rolls his eyes, and rolls onto Zayn’s lap, nudging their morning stiffies together. Zayn stirs, suddenly waving his hand and almost knocking down the near empty bottle of vodka at the bedside.

Liam wrinkles his nose; Zayn has been downing this high-alcohol content bullshit since almost a month now. He’s worried about the consequences of it on Zayn’s body, but gets yelled at every time he says something.  Also, _it’s 8 fucking AM in the morning._

‘The last time we saw each other wasn’t before you left the band” Liam says, cupping his cheeks and smiling lazily up at Zayn. Zayn grabs Liam’s phone from beside him and scans over a snippet, raising his eyebrow at Liam.

‘That explains the _probably_ , doesn’t it? I wouldn’t remember’ he slurs coldly, returning to lurking through the few fan accounts he follows on Instagram.

Liam frowns and sits at Zayn’s feet, cupping his tummy ( _‘6 months along babe – we’re gonna be dads in 2 and a half months! Can you believe it?’_ )

‘Why’re you in such a great mood nowadays?’ Liam says, staring expectantly at Zayn. The same Zayn who just exhales smoke into his face, _again_.

‘Will you _stop_ ’ Liam snaps, snatching the ciggy from between Zayn’s fingers. Zayn looks up sharply at that and chucks his phone aside. He grabs Liam and tugs him forward by his arse (Liam yelps, hands reaching out to clutch at Zayn’s face), until they’re nose-to-nose, angry brown eyes staring each other down. The cigarette falls to the snow-white sheets, embers floating down to the duvet.

‘Tell me now’ Zayn growls blearily and Liam huffs from where he’s awkwardly seated on Zayn’s thighs.

Liam shakes his head, nails almost piercing into Zayn’s skin, under his untrimmed beard. ‘Not when you’re in this mood, no’

‘Which, by the way, is most of the time’ he mutters, wincing as Zayn pulls at the hair at the front of his head.

‘’M not! Okay?’ Zayn grits out and shoves his lips against Liam’s in a rough kiss. Their teeth clack loudly as Zayn pushes Liam further up his thighs, so he’s rutting against Liam’s inner thigh in a messy, uncoordinated manner.

The older lad brings one hand up to Liam’s face, where he tugs at Liam’s lower lip. Liam makes a muffled noise as Zayn nips his lip with a nail, bucking his hips up with a bit too much force.

Zayn flips them over with scary ease, and pins Liam against the bed, clawing at his jogger bottoms. He lets out a pleased whine as Liam’s length ruts against his thigh.

 

_Thought we were holding on_

Liam’s far from pleasured though, desperately attempting to shove Zayn off. His body’s screaming for this but his mind’s deemed on running from sex until Liam knows what’s wrong with Zayn; what’s with the constant drunkenness, the never fading anger, his pissiness whenever Liam brings up the children.

‘Zayn stop’ he hisses as Zayn grazes his nails over Liam’s pecs, which have been feeling overly sensitive lately. Zayn however doesn’t seem to hear, currently lapping at the head of Liam’s cock rather aggressively.

He calls out Zayn’s name once more, only to go by ignored again. A moan is stuck in his throat as Zayn flicks his tongue around the slit, where Liam is most sensitive.

But the sensation’s soon gone, when Zayn’s pulled back licking his lips, tugging down his boxers to reveal his monster of a cock.

Usually, Liam’d be whimpering and begging for it, but now he’s just worried. It isn’t like Zayn to do anything without full consent, fingering Liam with the width of at least 3 fingers before initiating anything more.

But right now, he doesn’t really seem to care as he spits crudely on his hand and massages his cock, staring at Liam’s naked body with glazed, dark eyes. He approaches Liam predatorily, and pushes Liam onto his stomach.

Zayn groans animalistically as he plunges into Liam, rocking his hips slightly to adjust to the tightness. Liam begs weakly for Zayn to stop, his cock now limp and unreactive.

He’s not liking this at all; _not one bit._

‘So beautiful babe’ Zayn slurs, sucking at Liam’s neck, ‘So fucking gorgeous under me like this’

He bites his lip hard enough to draw blood when Zayn’s cock shies over his prostate.

‘Don’t try to be quiet’ Zayn hisses and his hand comes down on Liam’s arse loud, the sound snapping the tense silence like a whip cracking through the air.

Liam swears, bucking into the sting helplessly. He’s feeling queasy now, and his tummy keeps… fluttering? It’s not in a good sort of way though; not like butterflies or hunger, it’s almost vomit-inducing.

Zayn hisses, steadying his weight over Liam’s back as he fucks in hard and deep. ‘Zayn stop’ he pleads weakly as he tries to move Zayn off him, his position not really helping anyone.

Zayn orgasms inside him with a loud grunt and Liam feels disgusting and _used_ as Zayn continues to thrust in, making these wet, squelch noises as he shifts the cum round in him.

Eventually, the raven-haired lad tires out, and he pulls out of Liam – who’s now curled up in a foetal position – before lying down and pulling the duvet over himself, not even _cleaning himself up._

 _That’s_ how _drunk_ he is.

 

_Aren’t we?_

Liam on the other hand, feels _disgusting_ and _ill_ and gets up, cringing as sweat and cum leaks out of him, all disgusting around his groin.

More importantly, he’s disgusted at _Zayn._ Alcohol is a downfall to anyone, and this is just bullshit. How can Zayn just treat him like dirt? It’s like the past repeating itself again!

He slips into the bathroom quietly, wipes away the flow of tears with the back of his hands and decides to take a shower – one of the things most people tend to do at 9 AM in the morning.

He steps into the shower, shuts the curtain and glass door behind him and turns the water on hot enough that his skin reddens and burns in the slowly-fogging-up-room. His tummy still feels weird, all fluttery and now _painful_ , even under this soothing water.

He reaches for Zayn’s spicy _Imperial Leather_ shower gel (because he needs to roll in Zayn’s scent), promptly dropping it.

Cursing in pain, he bends down – vertebrae by vertebrae as he learnt in those pregnancy Yoga classes he took in the first 2 months of pregnancy – and grabs the bottle, heaving and almost sobbing at this point.

That’s when he spots it. The reddish liquid flowing into the drain.

Red describes many emotions and moods; love, passion, desire, heat, longing, lust, sensitivity, romance, joy, strength, , courage, rage, anger, danger, wrath, action, radiance, and determination.

Most important of all; when it comes out of your body, in the shower, and you’re not female:

_Alarm._

The pain in his stomach is excruciating now, and there’s a pang searing across his f

And that’s when Liam’s eyes flutter shut and his knees give way.

_‘Cause the truth is out_

9:56AM

Zayn sits up in bed and yawns loudly, scratching his pubes slightly. He looks to his side and Liam’s gone – _thank God._

Things around Liam have been a bit… awkward lately. What with Liam not wanting Zayn to actually be part of their little family’s lives. Zayn’s being trying to detach himself from Liam as much as possible – the less the pain for the both of them – but Liam just makes it so, _so_ hard. He seems to think it’s going to be easy as _fuck_ to just get rid of feelings between the two of them.

He stands up slowly and stretches out his limbs in some weird, Zayn-like feline grace, discovering in the process he’s not wearing his boxers.

He frowns, confused and finds his pair at the foot of the bed – _when did that get there?_ When he’s done, he pads over to the bathroom, scratching his head rather sheepishly.

He doesn’t smell any breakfast cooking downstairs, so it’s probably Sunday. Sunday is the day Zayn cooks for them (which in most cases ends up in takeaway from the beans’on’toast place round the corner in tinted shades and wind cheaters).

The bathroom door’s open, and the shower’s running and Zayn has to stop and physically take a moment to stop himself from joining Liam without a second thought.

He opens the door, takes a deep breath and rushes to the other side of the room, where the sink is located, as far as possible – _hoping_ Liam _didn’t hear that_ because Liam gets _so_ offended when Zayn does shit like that (i.e. no Liam’s cooking and no comfortable, not-ratty bed for a week or longer).

‘Mornin’ babe’ Zayn yells out, turning to the Almira style shelf-cabinet in front of him. He looks in the mirror, where there is a reflection of the shower and _nope –_ no Liam peeks his head out at him.

He yawns and shrugs, grabbing the vanilla face scrub shit Liam uses (Zayn can’t really badmouth it because Liam _does always smell divine_ ).

‘Liam!’ he yells out again, slightly more cheerful and he looks to the mirror again, disappointed once more.

After a few moments of contemplating what he could have possibly done to get Liam mad at him, he sets down the face scrub and walks over to the shower, slow and hesitant.

‘Liam?’ he mumbles, tugging open the curtain with shaky fingers. _Lo and behold – nothing._ But the shower’s still running.

Zayn furrows his eyebrows and opens the glass door too, cautiously stepping in. _Why on earth is a shower so big – how fat do you need to be to need a shower this wide?!_

The second step inside, he steps on something wet and soft and he _screams._

He proper _screams,_ and slips, eyes widening comically as he falls face first to the shower floor.

And – _oh._

_Here’s Liam._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a sidenote: alcohol does _not_ give anyone the license to misbehave with you, or vice-versa. alcohol is a privilege to same, a dread to others, so please do not put other's comfort and dignity at stake with your bad drinking habits. thank you. 
> 
> what's your favourite ziam moment?  
> moi : omg omg omg too fucking many - but probably the one where zayn says "i admire liam's six pack" and liam says "i admire... zayn's big, huge... QUIFF" and everyone starts giggling. also _all_ the ones where liam's arse hurts. (:   
>  take carreeeee babies ( :xxx


	9. scares.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> long ass, traffic-filled drive to the hospital. en route telephonic consultation with dr. gemma styles (harry's sister).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayye - how's everyone's easter going!? so many attacks in the past few days; turkey, baghdad, lahore, now the egyptian plane hijack - i hope everyone's doing okay. praying for everyone!xx

**Zayn Malik spotted carrying Liam Payne bridal style**

_Liam looks ill..?_

_powER COUPLE THEY'RE SO HOT TOGETHER PLEASE FUCK MY MOUTH_ *comment reported inappropriate, to be reviewed*

‘Hey Zayner – what’s up-‘

‘Louis I’m on the way to PRU Hospital right now, something’s wrong with Liam, could you please get me Gemma’s number’ Zayn cries into his phone. He takes his eyes off the road again and turns to his side, shaking Liam frantically.

‘Wh-what’s wrong with Li?’

He can hear Harry now pottering around in the background, whispering furiously to Louis, obviously prompting him.

Zayn messily wipes his face as he holds down the car horn, cursing in Urdu under his breath.

‘I-I don’t know – I, I seriously d-don’t know Lou!’

He hears a loud _“give me that”_ in the background, before Harry’s on the line, _‘Zayn have you fucking done something?!’_

Unexplained angler flares up in him and he’s screaming ‘NO I HAVEN’T FUCKING DONE ANYTHING THIS TIME’ down the line before even thinking.

There’s a loud sigh and Harry mumbles “ _one sec”_ leaving Zayn to concentrate on driving. He turns to Liam again, gasps as he discovers blood coating the seat below him.

‘LIAM’ he yells brokenly and quickly swerves to a stop at the side of the road. He goes to unbuckle Liam’s seatbelt, realising he hasn’t even put the damn thing on, and gasps as he spots the massive bloodstain on Liam’s boxers.

‘ZAYN!’ Harry yells and Zayn has to physically stop himself from screaming at Harry because all he’s doing is stressing him out.

‘Gem’s calling you in a second. I’ll get there with Lou and Ni ASAP’ Harry says, returning to talk to Louis in muffled voices before the line goes dead.

Zayn unbuckles himself and opens the car door, before almost running out onto the road to get to the car boot. He fetches himself some salty (mostly clean) towels from when Liam and him visited a beach up North and rushes back to his seat.

He jumps back in the car and deftly shifts Liam to place the towels underneath him, cursing himself as blood dampens the stale cloth in no time and Liam stirs in his unconsciousness, whimpering something under his breath and-

_Oh._

He’s got nothing apart from his boxers on.

Zayn screams then, losing it as he slams his head against the steering wheel, not caring about the loud, high horn sound the car makes.

Then his phone’s ringing again and he practically dives to fetch it from his pocket, relief flooding as an unknown number flashes up.

‘ _Zayn?’_

Zayn nods, almost crying in relief, ‘Yea, Yes Gemma – i-it’s Zayn here! Something’s wrong with Liam please he-‘

‘ _Okay, firstly CALM THE FUCK DOWN_ ’

Zayn swears, slamming his hand against the horn again, ignoring the couple walking along the pavement throwing dirty looks at him.

‘I CAN’T BE CALM’ he screams, surprised when Gemma yells back a “ _WELL YOU BETTER FUCKING DO IT”_ just as ferociously as him.

He pulls the phone away from his ear, muttering under his breath about “how bitchy can someone be” as he takes quick breaths in his seat.

‘Okay’ he sighs, fingers clenching around the steering wheel, ‘I am calm now’

Gemma makes a sound of affirmation. ‘ _Okay, now CALMLY explain what happened to Liam’_

‘Well he was lying face down in the shower, on his tummy when I found him– which he finds so uncomfortable, so he probably didn’t lie down on the shower floor on purpose-‘

‘ _Zayn’_ Gemma interrupts again, and Zayn almost snarls at her, ‘ _I’m a doctor, not a forensics specialist. I don’t care about that, I care about his health. Now continue with more relevant details please’_

‘Yeah’ Zayn says, surprised at how bossy she is – he always knew Gemma as a total sweetheart! He wipes the tears flowing down his cheeks again and resumes.

‘H-He’s kinda unconscious. Whenever he wakes up, he says his tummy’s hurting and seems pretty dazed, and there’s blood coming out of his, um’

‘ _His where Zayn’_

‘His anus, okay!’ Zayn yells, flushing like an 11 year old in a sex education lesson. _This situation can’t get worse._

‘ _Okay, give me a second’_ he can hear scribbling and scratching in the background.

He tries shaking Liam awake again, but to no avail. Instead Liam curls up even more into himself, mouthing something to himself with difficulty, his forehead scrunching up.

‘ _Zayn are you not driving?’_

Zayn shakes his head, mumbles a quiet _no_ into the phone.

‘ _Well getting to the hospital in this situation could be a great idea!’_

He starts the car immediately and swerves his way back into the line of cars before speeding up to 58mph.

‘ _Okay so Harry’s told me Liam’s pregnant?’_

‘Yeah’ Zayn breathes, risking a glance at Liam, ‘Yeah’

‘ _How far along?’_

Zayn furrows his eyebrows, eyes brimming with fresh tears as Liam whimpers beside him, trying to pry the seatbelt off himself.

‘S-six ish months – maybe 7?’

‘ _When was the last time you had coitus?’_

Zayn widens his eyes and flushes, coughing awkwardly. Gemma hums patiently in the background.

‘I-I don’t ... I don’t know?’ Zayn runs a hand through his tousled hair, beeping the horn loud and for an elongated period of time as some asshole in the front drives as humanly slow as possible.

‘ _Hurry up Zayn – this is crucial!’_ she prompts him.

Zayn swears, ‘I REALLY DON’T KNOW – CAN WE MOVE ON FROM IT NOW?’

_‘ZAYN MALIK CALM THE FUCK DOWN’_

Zayn doesn’t reply to that, just huffs and looks to Liam again, before grabbing another towel from the backseat and pushing it under his bum carefully. _Why is there so much blood?!_

‘ _Now. Was it recently? Perhaps today – or yesterday?’_

Zayn brings a hand up to his face and groans in exasperation. ‘Maybe yesterday or something … I-I don’t know! I-I was dr-drunk and I wok-woke up without boxers-‘

‘ _Okay. Yesterday or today then’_ Gemma cuts him off coolly.

Silence accompanied with Gemma’s scribbling.

‘ _Well – did you go the whole way i.e. dicked him and everything?’_

Zayn shifts uncomfortably in his seat, risks a glance at Liam again. ‘Uhm – yeah, probably...’

‘ _Do you tend to go rough when you’re drunk by any chance?’_

Zayn nods, ashamed, ‘Yeah. Liam tells me I tend to do that’

Gemma hums, ‘ _Had it been a while since you had full sexual intercourse with him then?’_

‘Yeah, we were trying to abstain from sex until the end of the pregnancy’

‘ _Have you had an ultrasound to determine the number and gender of the baby or babies?’_

‘Y-yeah – I… I don’t know the gender, but he’s having twins’ Zayn gulps, turning to Liam again. He glances at the sat-nav again – _23 fucking minutes till he reaches PRU. What the fuck._

‘ _Semen potency high’_ she murmurs to herself, scribbling and scratching sound back again.

 ‘ _Okay – I think I know what’s wrong’_ Gemma finally concludes and Zayn waits with bated breath, even reaching out to clasp hands with a cold, sweating Liam.

‘ _Sex induces contractions in the uterus, or in his case the anus. Now, these contractions are more violent and frequent the harder and faster you fuck him’_

Zayn loves how she switches rather subtly between casual and incomprehensibly scientific.  ‘Yeah’ he breathes, cocking an eyebrow, unsure of where this conversation is going.

‘ _In some cases these contractions can be labour-level – and you’ve probably sent him into premature labour’_

‘Shit’ Zayn breathes, paling as he gulps back bile.

She makes a sound of agreement. ‘ _The only thing you can hope for is getting him to the hospital in time. If luck be with you guys, the doctors will be able to manage his contractions and restore him back to the gestation period’_

Zayn takes another look at the sat-nav, still stuck at 19 minutes. He takes a deep breath and says so, _so_ softly, ‘If not?’

Gemma sighs, ‘ _His anal walls will not have softened enough to widen to the width of a foetus, and the pain that’s caused by an over-stretch in the walls can have drastic, drastic effects’_

 _‘_ T-They can’t use anaesthetics?’

‘ _No. You said he was unconscious, right? Anaesthetics cannot be used if he’s unconscious and in such a critical condition. They can cause so much harm!’_

Zayn bites his lip, wiping his teary eyes with the back of his hand. ‘What kind of effects then?’ he replies, voice cracking. He’s almost afraid of the answer.

‘ _Long-term paralysis, pain-induced coma, death at childbirth, death of children. You better get him to the hospital sometime soon babe. Good luck’_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> now, i got all my information from my cousin who's in her 4th year of uni rn doing medicine. if anything's medically incorrect, please do leave me the right information in the comments below, and i can sub it into the fic with confirmation. 
> 
> what's your favourite song(s) on mind of mine?!
> 
> mine: golden, it's you, wrong ft. the bae ❤
> 
> #prayingforthisworld.


	10. madness.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> continuation of zayn rushing liam into the hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> double update bc I've been a really shit update-r recently -- I've got exams coming up and yeah safe to say i'm stressed as fuck so -

_lou: mate wer’e on our way, hangin there._

25 minutes later, Zayn rapidly swerves into the driveway of PRU hospital, earning himself profanities and looks from middle-aged people walking around the compound. Gemma’s promised to fax over the information about Liam to the doctors so they can speed up the treatment as much as possible.

He throws open the door and runs out screaming madly for a doctor, tugging his bloody hands through his hair. A nurse standing around outside with a ciggy between her lips gasps loudly and immediately drops the cig before rushing into the hospital.

Zayn lets out a frustrated _scream_ and rushes over to Liam’s side. He swings open the door so fast the door almost comes off its hinges and quickly unbuckles Liam, before grabbing his towel-wrapped body and running into the hospital while carrying him bridal style.

Zayn’s eyes widen in horror as Liam’s head lolls back at an awkward angle and the brunet stirs, furrowing his eyebrows and mumbling something underneath his breath.

The nurses at the reception desk immediately rush out from behind their desk and Zayn kisses Liam’s lips repeatedly re-assuring himself more than Liam that _everything’s gonna be ok, Liam’s gonna be fine, my babies’ are gonna be fine –_

Then Liam’s being grabbed out of his arms and Zayn breaks down, falling to his knees in one jerky motion. A middle-aged male nurse crouches down beside him and hands him a bottle of water as he rubs down his back.

The stretcher’s being pushed away and Zayn shoves away the man’s hand, putting his head into his hands in the middle of the hospital isle and sobbing like a madman. Images of Liam go through the back of his mind and he prays, prays so hard that Liam’s ok – his kids are ok – the three of them are okay.

Then he hears the dreaded _“There he is!”_ – The one he usually runs on hearing. He sneaks one dreaded glance behind and about 20 paparazzi members come crowding behind him, already yelling out their questions, blinding camera lights flashing in his eyes.

_Are you and Gigi Hadid definitely not dating then?_

_Is your good mate Liam Payne pregnant? Do you know the father?_

_Holy shit! Have you done something to him? How do you think the 1D fanbase is going to respond to this?_

_When is Mind of Mine going to drop?!_

_What’s with the blood, Zayn? ISIS recruiting new members?_

He’s being hoisted up by three burly male nurses and the middle-aged nurse who was smoking earlier and being tugged towards a guest ward. He sneaks another glance back with tear-rimmed eyes and another male burly nurse, young slightly pregnant lady and a seemingly sassy older nurse are yelling at the journalists.

As he’s being shamefully dragged towards the rooms, tears and mucus flowing down his face and his hands all _bloody_ and _mucky_ as he screams for “ _my jaan”_ and _“my fucking children”_ A few of the patients peer through their ward doors, shaking their heads and tutting at each other. He vaguely catches the words, _Muslim_ and _terrorist_ being thrown around as if it’s totally acceptable.

Zayn cannot fucking care less. He’s done a lot of stupid shit in his life but _this_ – this beats everything. He’s probably killed someone here. Someone important to him. Either someone(s) who would fill his life with joy and stress and adoration, but come back at the end of it and give him no reason to regret that painful process.

Or someone he would hopefully propose to and marry in the next 5 years or so and wake up next to every living day of his life, whose beautiful laugh lightens up his day every day, someone he’d sketch so painstakingly and so often it’d become old and annoying, someone he’d hopefully have more kids with again, create more memories with, someone who’d _save him_. _Save him from himself._

If screaming and acting like a maniac, a madman on the loose makes him a terrorist, he doesn’t care. The one person he’s been closest to and shared so many memories with in the past 5 years is _dying_ under his watch - worse because _he_ caused all this – and he’s worried and about to rip his hair out. If that makes him a terrorist, so fucking be it.

The door clicks shut and it all clicks in Zayn’s head. He truly loves Liam. Not with the sincerity he usually says it (i.e. in fight situations when they’re both sweaty and frustrated and Zayn’s turned on and feels up for the angry sex, when he screams _But I love you_ and it swings either way for him), but really. Fucking really. He’s a lost man without him.

And the male nurse gently ushers him to the bed in the centre of the room. He instructs him to take off his shoes and gently hoists him up into the bed where Zayn instinctively pulls the duvet up to his nose, fresh tears forming in his eyes when he takes in its chlorinated smell – when does he get to smell Liam again, in all his bizarre citrus-y and minty glory?

The nurse tiptoes out and the door clicks shut again, leaving Zayn to wallow in misery and negativity.

When he gets sad, he gets cliché, unfortunately, so he wonders if what he’s so used to hearing is true – a _nd when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it._

But then he feels stupid and philosophical and he pushes the duvet off with determination, and takes a look at the clock; _11:14_ , before sitting up and pulling his kerchief out of his pocket.

He gingerly steps off the little platform and spreads it over the linoleum before slowly kneeling down onto it, closing his eyes and praying for the first time in _years._

He doesn’t even remember how to do it properly, considering the last time he prayed was after his grandad passed during the X-Factor. He’s forgotten how calm and peaceful he’s felt doing this. He mutters his own personal prayers under his breath as tears catch on his nose and his ears burn with humiliation and realisation.

Fuck, he’s such a faker.

It’s just a simple _keep my love safe, keep our family safe, humein kheriyat rakhe_ as he remembers select, precious moments he’s shared with Liam, all the way through world tours, album releases, recording practises, photoshoots, sharing a bunk on the tour bus, sharing a bad the rest of the time.

The door cracks open a smidge and a man cautiously peers in, ‘Um – I’m sorry to interrupt, sir, but we need you to fill in some details about the patient. A Dr Styles has sent over information regarding Mr Payne’s status, but we need you to give us some additional personal details’

Zayn wordlessly stands up, picking his kerchief off the floor and follows the nurse out of the room, watching his scuffed shoes as he walks. Cameras flash in his face and questions echo in his mind, but he’s gone into his mind space. He doesn’t care about the world right now – it’s _his_ world he cares about, and that at the moment is Liam and his babies.  

The nurse ushers him to a private waiting room, a pregnant women and someone who’s presumably her husband look up at him with a sincere smile before returning to their business.

He takes a seat as far away from the door as possible and the nurse manages to shut the door just in time to hold back the paparazzi. _How did they even get into a hospital in the first place?_

The man hands him a clip board with some forms on it and a pen and Zayn thanks him curtly, before setting himself to the task. He fills out the name, age, D.O.B and a medical history and allergen form, until he gets to the address line.  

He’s not sure what to say, fingers squeezing tight around the pen. Liam has 2 homes – the one he shares with Zayn, and his own one. _Is address an important detail?_ Zayn hesitantly pens down their shared address because he doesn’t really know what to do – they are currently living at their shared place.

Then there’s this “relation with the patient” box and Zayn’s so fucked. _Just the idiot who impregnated him? Dumbass ex-boyfriend? Best mate_ (he’s not sure to what extent Liam credits him with that title, to be honest) _?_ He starts off with _friend,_ but then scribbles that out as he swipes his tongue over his bottom lip – which _freak_ impregnates their friend and has the audacity to call themselves a _“friend”_?

He takes a deep breath and guiltily scribbles down _boyfriend_ before flipping over the page and continuing with the form. He can’t bear the guilt of looking down at that page and realising what he’s just branded their relationship as when Liam _clearly_ informed him that he wasn’t looking for anything other than a helping hand. _Clearly._

He’s so fucked if Liam finds out. _If Liam lives to find out_. Cue tears.

The man comes back and collects the clipboard with a kind smile. He skims over the page and hums, ‘Well sir, your boyfriend will be fine. I’m sure he will be. If you want, I can escort you back to the guest ward for some privacy. Our hospital staff are doing everything possible to get those juice-hungry media idiots out of here’

Zayn smiles weakly, heart re-inflating just a bit at the thought of all these people still trying to make life easier for him despite what he’s _done. Oh if they only knew._ The man pats his back comfortingly before walking back to his desk. He leans back against the hole-y metal chair and covers his face with his hands, massaging his temples gently as he tries to calm himself.

There is a high chance of Liam and his kids coming out unharmed – or at least that’s what the kid-who-flunked-biology-GCSE says. He’d like if his kids stayed in there for a bit longer because he _knows_ premature births are a lot more dangerous.

He goes through all the possibilities in his mind, each of them just as painful as the others. _Pain induced coma? Death?_ His heart thuds fast against his chest at the thought and he can hear his pulse heightening in the back of his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry that not much has happened in this chapter, the next chapter contains some drama with the boys and u get to know what happens to liam. hint: it's one of the options gemma had oh-so0-kindly listed out for us in the last chapter
> 
> do you guys have abnormally heavy periods?  
> me: yeaa :(


	11. aggravation.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we find out what has happened to liam and the boys arrive at the hospital. harry's not happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> part 2 of double update!

He hears his name being called out by some young thing at the front of the room. He jumps to his feet and rubs his eyes tiredly, before walking over to her.

The doctor smiles slightly at him, but her coffee brown eyes are hard and stony, like she knows what Zayn’s done.

_He’s never going to touch alcohol again._

‘Mr Malik’ she says coolly and Zayn hums worriedly, fingers twitching against the sides of his thighs, tempted to pull out a fag and lighter.

‘You know you’re responsible for this, don’t you? Only rough intercourse causes contractions as violent as Liam’s at such a short stage’ Zayn flushes, embarrassed to no end. _Yep – No alcohol ever again._

‘I was drunk’ he murmurs, forlorn as he thumbs his beard. He keeps glancing behind her, as if he expects Liam to come out any minute now. She visibly rolls her eyes and frowns, reproaching at Zayn

‘Well – we’ve restored him to a normal, safe pregnancy’ she informs him, adjusting her glasses at the bridge of her nose. Zayn is almost scared to breathe out in relief.

‘But – he’s gone into an induced coma. As Dr Styles informed you earlier, the use of anaesthetics at such a critical stage isn’t possible and-‘ _And there it is._

‘I-Is he okay? Does that mean he won’t… won’t wake up?’ Zayn almost whispers, eyes filling up. _What’s happening? This wasn’t meant to happen!_

She pulls down her glasses, immediately seeming more human. Her eyebrows furrow and she shrugs, leaning against the side wall, ‘Comas can be extremely short; as long as a couple of hours, however it can also take years. There’s not really a way we can determine which way Liam will go’

A single tear drips down Zayn’s cheek and his whole façade crumbles. Heart-wrenching sobs wrack through his body as he regrets _so badly_ what he’s done to his fragile Liam. His precious, precious baby.

He almost feels Liam at his side, re-assuring him that _everything’s ok, Zayn – I’m right here, see?_ Because that’s what Liam does. He makes you feel better. He’s Zayn’s rock, his star, his love, his jaan, the music in his life, the person who knows the _now_ him best – his everything.

The doctor slowly escorts him back to his seat where he shrinks in on himself, hoisting his feet up on the chair. His mum’s gonna be so disappointed in him – Karen’s gonna hate him so much. His sisters are gonna kill him and Liam’s sisters will make sure to keep their baby brother away from him forever and a day.

Worst of all – Liam’s as good as gone, for God-knows-how-long. He will come round eventually and forgive Zayn though …. _Won’t he?_

Will he even get to the stage of waking up? Will Zayn still be visiting this horrible place when he’s old and exhausted? Will he get to the stage where the doctors gently put it to him that he needs to let go; he needs to turn off the oxygen supply and let him pass in peace because Liam’s taking up space? Will he die alone on their lonely bed, caffeine and weed thrumming through his dying veins? Or will he live every coming day as a fading reminder that he’s a murderer? Will his heart turn cold and black and incapable of loving anyone as much as this brunet with soft, brown sparkling eyes and a golden heart?

Will his friends and family slowly leave him to his own company? Will his kids, by Allah’s wish they survive, desert him because he’s a monster?

At that moment, Louis, Harry and Niall all come bursting in through the waiting room doors, immediately spotting Zayn hunched up in a chair. _Speaking of people who think he’s a monster._

Harry rushes up to him, despite Louis’ protests and pulls him up by the lapels of his stupid leather jacket. His green eyes are considerably darker than what Zayn remembers and he feels like he should be worried.

‘What the fuck did you do this time?’ Harry snarls and Niall comes up behind him, tries wrapping his arms around Harry’s waist to pull him away.

Zayn doesn’t do anything, just keeps crying in Harry’s grip and it’s beginning to worry Louis.

‘Have you done something to him, you bastard? You’ve changed so much, you _twat, dickhead_ ’ the taller, younger man hisses and he swivels them around, banging Zayn’s head against a divider. Niall weakly protests, but Louis just stands back, hoping for the best. It’s about time Harry vents.

Harry brings his knee up and knees him in the crotch (Zayn lets out a loud sob/groan) and he literally _drops_ Zayn to the ground.

‘You fucking prestige ass – you better not _dare_ see Liam again after this,’ Harry laughs sourly as Niall discourages him worriedly, ‘If he’s alive that is – or have you changed that as well you _twat’_

‘That’s enough Harry!’ Louis yells, but Harry ignores him, throwing a kick to Zayn’s shin. Zayn scrambles back and hugs his knees to his chest, sobbing weakly.

Harry turns to Niall and Louis, absolutely livid. He’s scary when he’s like this. ‘Someone tell him not to fuck with Liam’ He runs a hand through his hair and turns back, glancing at a weeping Zayn with a disgusted expression before turning back to them.

‘Tell him to stay away from Liam! We’ll give the baby up for adoption if Liam can’t take care of it alone! Or we’ll help him’ he urges them, louder, specifically turning to Zayn, ‘His _real friends_ ’

Zayn looks up with teary eyes, ‘SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOU DON’T EVEN SPEND ENOUGH TIME WITH HIM TO KNOW THAT HE’S HAVING TWINS’

Harry shuts up at that, widening his eyes. The 3 of them exchange shocked looks between themselves before Louis quietly speaks up.

‘… Twins?’

Zayn wipes at his eyes furiously, ‘ _YES’_ he hisses, covering his face, ‘YES FUCKING YES HE’S HAVING TWINS – It’s a wonder you guys even know he’s pregnant! You-‘

‘Now you listen’ Harry cuts him off, pointing a long finger at him, fire dancing in his eyes.

‘NO!’ Zayn yells back, standing up with a determined expression on his face. He strides up to Harry and jabs him in the chest, ‘You guys haven’t visited him even _ONCE_ since you guys broke up! ONCE! HE’S PREGNANT! YOUR BEST MATE’S PREGNANT FOR FUCK SAKES! HE’S STARTING HIS LIFE AFRESH AND YOU FUCKERS DON’T EVEN HELP?!’

A timid nurse peeks her head out of the passage leading to the patient wards, ‘I’m really sorry – but you guys will need to keep quiet’

Niall shoves Harry away (as gently as possible) and places his hands on Zayn’s shoulders, practically clamping him in his grip as Zayn keeps yelling at a bewildered Harry, aggressively brandishing his arm around as his features scrunch up and his rant dissolves into violent sobbing.

‘Zayn’ Louis speaks up, softly, ‘Sit down and tell us what’s happening with Liam’ He doesn’t wait for an answer, instead wordlessly steers Zayn to a seat and kneels in front of him.

Zayn puts his face in his hands and his body wracks with every sob. _He’s ruined their future. He’s fucked things up so bad. He’s ruined Liam’s damn life. He’s ruined his damn life!_ He doesn’t talk for a solid 5 minutes, just cries and cries and cries until his eyes are burning and his throat is hoarse and the pain he feels is yet nowhere near what Liam’s feeling currently.

‘He’s i-in a coma’ Zayn mumbles and there’s a sharp intake of breath on his right. Harry swears loudly and he hears shuffling and loud shushing.

‘Can we see him?’ Niall softly says, eyes glassed over like he’s going to cry in a second.

‘I-I don’t know!’ Zayn whisper-yells, face contorted. Louis hands him a bottle of water, gently rubbing his back, ‘Mate, calm down’

Harry then stomps up to him and swings a clenched fist square in Zayn’s nose. Zayn groans, head lolling back with the force of it and blood instantaneously spews out of his nose.

Niall stands up then and shoves Harry away, eyes glistening. ‘STOP FIGHTING LIKE DOGS WILL YOU?! THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT ZAYN’S SAYING – EVEN NOW YOU’RE NOT PAYING LIAM ANY ATTENTION AND JUST CARRYING ON WITH YOUR PETTY ARGUMENT!’

The nurse shushes them loudly and Niall immediately quietens down. He sends Harry a menacing glare before turning back to the others, taking a deep breath.

‘I’m going to go see Liam’ he hisses, grabbing the gift bag he had brought as Louis pulls out a tissue and gently dabs at Zayn’s nose. Zayn pushes Louis off and stands up determinedly, ‘I’ll come with’ and tugs Niall away from Louis and Harry before they can create a ruckus.

Niall manages to charm the nurse at the reception desk with an autograph, and they get to stay a bit longer than the visiting hours too (the visiting hours end soon) just because _“you’re such a good lad”._

Niall quietly enters the room, followed by Zayn and shuts the door.

Zayn takes one look at Liam and his heart breaks. He’s lying there with one of those weird, scratchy, paper gowns on and he can see the goosebumps lining his arms – _what have they done to him?!_

Niall goes and sets down the gift bag by Liam’s side, before grabbing a seat and sitting down next to the bed. He immediately presses a long, sincere kiss to Liam’s forehead and gently smooths his hair down against his forehead.

Zayn stands still against the door, shell-shocked into silence. The tears are rolling out again, freely and unrestrained as he slowly comes to term with what a _shitty boyfriend he is._ That familiar pang of jealousy flares up as Niall looks down at Liam and smooths his small hand over Liam’s tummy with so much _love and affection_.

He covers his face with his hands and slides down against the door as Niall starts singing _Infinity_ to Liam, voice trembling with unshed tears as Liam’s pulse thrums slowly on the heart monitor.

_What have you done, Zayn._

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... *peers out into the darkness* heellooo? anyone still there? 
> 
> bit late but what do y'all think about the zigi photoshoot pics.   
> me: _i fucking hate them. where liam's flat ass at?_


	12. trauma.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what happens over the next month and an incident that takes everyone by surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> understand that these plot twists are wired out through my brain spontaneouslyxxx.

********

_pendant l’une mois après (for the next month)_

Zayn comes in religiously, setting flowers by the bedside and having a conversation with Liam, joking about how quiet he’s become and telling him about everything that’s been happening.

‘So, Harry and Lou’ve got engaged – _I mean, no one saw that coming!’_ Zayn would roll his eyes as he took a seat beside Liam, grabbing Liam’s cold hand in his.

‘They’re getting married December next year – they want us to be one of the best men!’ He’d then grin, leaning in to press his lips to Liam’s softly before pulling back, ‘We _have to_ fuck something up that day – before it’s all on paper and all that shit’

5 minutes in he’d be vividly describing all the shit that’d taken place recently; sometimes they were desperate repeats of old stories.

‘- Then we went to this chapel place, to reserve a priest and everything for a wedding yeah? And Ohmygod the priest kicked us all out when he realised they weren’t _straight –_ but then Louis threatened to make Harry wear a dress and call it a straight wedding and the priest nearly _collapsed_ but then Niall got him an autograph for his daughter and he gave in-‘

Then he’d start laughing, crying hysterically at his own stories, shaking violently in his seat.

‘When will we do that, love?’ he’d then say, tears pooling in his eyes as he searched Liam’s face, devoid of emotion, for any sign of response.

He’d squeeze Liam’s fingers in his gently and splay his spare hand over Liam’s still growing tummy, before crying into Liam’s neck. ‘Won’t you get up and slap me for being unhygienic; ruining this stupid hospital gown?’ Zayn would murmur through tears and kiss Liam fervently, repeatedly.

The heart rate on the monitor would jump and Zayn would panic and rush out of the doors to fetch a nurse; the same one every time who would gently sit him down and explain to him that _‘pet, he’s not waking up. He’s just responding to your contact’_

Management left him missed call after missed call, and e-mail after e-mail and the Zigi situation was confusing fans everywhere; _were they engaged? Was it a rumour? Are they even dating? Was it a cover up for Ziam?_

Karen, Nicola, Ruth, Geoff, Andy, Sophia, Jawaad, Sasha, Aaroosa, Wali, Saf, Doni Trisha, Yaser, Sarwat, Maryam, Zileh and Daniaal took turns to yell at him for his actions and most of them have made at least one visit to Liam’s ward, where they take turns at babying him and mourning like he’s dead.

 _HE’S NOT DEAD_ Zayn feels like screaming to the world, _I’M NOT A MURDERER, HE’S NOT DEAD, HE’S PREGNANT WITH MY DAMN KIDS, and LEAVE HIM ALONE_ he wants to say. But he’s silenced. Silenced by money, and threats of career destruction and silencing debts that would _kill_ his family and him.

Gigi skypes him every few days, re-assuring him that everything _will in fact_ be fine. She even visited once with Kendall and Anwar, leaving behind hampers of cosmetics, clothes, chocolates, wine _– you name it_ for Liam. She was even nice enough to buy some non-gender-specific blankets and booties and onesies and hats and Zayn truly, _truly_ loves her.

Hospital staff have given up bringing fan-mail and cards in to Liam’s ward (‘ _mate there’s far too fucking much, ‘ts impossible!’_ ) ; instead there’s a mini shrine of Liam dolls, Liam pictures, get-well-soon cards, teddies, posters and other merch (Andy spotted a bra with Liam’s face zoomed in on the cups and cackled, storing it away carefully) all sitting at the front of the hospital building.

One morning (August 3rd, 2016, around 9AM, Zayn will forever remember) Liam actually stirs, his fingers twitching against Zayn’s tattooed hand. Zayn jolts at the touch and yells out for the nurse, standing up to inspect Liam, almost tripping over in the process.

Liam’s eyeballs visibly move under his shut eyelids and his face. His face wrinkles into the most pained expression, eyebrows nearly meeting, nose crinkled. Zayn can see the perspiration beginning to form along the downy softness of his forehead.

His pale, pink, chapped lips move slowly and soundlessly and Zayn’s heart drops for one horrible moment – _he’s not lost his voice, right_?

Then Liam’s hissing and swearing and his hands go to his tummy, clutching it and almost tearing the gown and there’s no time to rejoice. Zayn yells out for the nurse again, repeatedly banging the emergency button next to his head.

He cups Liam’s hands in his, murmurs sweet nothings into his ears, comforts himself more than anyone in Urdu. He kisses Liam’s forehead gently and applies the least of pressure to keep Liam bucking off the bed and hurting himself, the babies, _Zayn._

Harry comes bursting in, shoves Zayn away in one go and immediately cups Liam’s hands in his, murmuring things known to just the two of them.

Harry tries to soothe him, gently stroking his tummy as Liam’s liquid gold eyes flutter in limbo between shut and open. Then Liam _screams again,_ and there’s sudden movement **everywhere-**

The heart monitor goes haywire, the pulse ricocheting off the edges like mad, and Liam’s back arches off the bed and there’s an audible _click_ of bones, cracking through the air. A cry slips through Liam’s parted lips and Zayn’s stomach lurches and he’s reaching for the bin quickly before violently throwing up.

Harry swears and runs out of the room, yelling for _nurses_ and _doctors_ and the other lads and Zayn’s vision is slowly blurring, his legs shaking under his weight. He rests his back against the wall and rests his head back weakly, swearing in Urdu as 2 nurses come in and push Liam back against the bed.

All the staff completely ignore him as they hustle around, yelling at each other and bringing out various tools and instruments that Zayn doesn’t want to know the use of.

He catches hint of _“comatose labour”_ It’s only when he’s being ushered out of the room, and the ward door’s being _slammed shut_ on his face, and the sun-lit room is taken over by darkness that he begins to _really worry._  

He swears loudly and God-knows- _what_ possesses him, but he’s banging against the door and twisting the handle with enough force to pull it off its hinges. He swears and stamps his feet, attracting Danny (who’s stayed with him in the hospital for the past few days) and Louis’ attention; the 2 of whom rush up, yelling and screaming at him.

Louis grabs hold of his waist and Danny risks going in front of Zayn and trying to comfort him. Zayn’s finding it harder and harder to breathe and he screams, punches the wall just behind Danny’s head.

 _‘FUCK’_ he yells, pulling his hand back and twisting at his wrist, ignores the sting of pain and the tears burning his eyes. _HE JUST WANTS TO SEE HIS LIAM._

The door opens and Zayn almost wrestles the doctor back in, swearing and spitting in his face, threatening to sue all the staff here if his Liam isn’t alright.

 _‘GO, GO!’_ Danny’s screaming at the small man when Louis manages to shove Zayn against a chair and pin him down; the doctor scurries off without hesitation.

Then Louis slaps his face and moves his hands up to Zayn’s shoulder, fingers surely forming imprints under his tight grip. Zayn flails and screams and swears and begs, but they ignore him and drag him through the hospital grimly, till they find an unoccupied guest ward and shove him in.

He lunges at the door immediately, fingers immediately going for the handle but _to no avail._ They’ve locked him in. He hears a vague _“SORRY”_ directed at him from outside the room and he swears again, spitting out every colourful word he knows in Urdu and English.

_It feels like I’m falling into the Sun_

After what seems like an age, the door opens and Zayn stirs in his sleep, eyelids fluttering open. He sits up and the first thought that crosses his mind is _Liam._

‘Who is it?’ he calls out suspiciously and he hears a weak chuckle, tell-tale yet so unlike the person he knows so well.

‘Louis?’ He calls out, softer and more carefully. He winces when the light turns on, pupils constricting rapidly. ‘H-How’s Liam?’

‘Zaynie, your kids are out’ Louis says, voice cracking and Zayn widens his eyes. He leaps off the bed, knees immediately buckling under the sudden weight.

‘ _Wh-what? And Liam?’_

‘Still not awake… The doctors fear he might not anytime soon’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they're out. before someone comments saying "comatose labour" isn't a thing, this is an au. AU _i.e. some parts of it are real-life events and some are made up or fantasy_. Also, I've done my research and there's been a woman who's given birth unconscious. It can happen. 
> 
> favourite lyric of if i could fly? (this is random, but i'm listening to it atm and i realise for the umpteenth time how much i actually love this song. 
> 
> mine: i've got scars, even though they can't always be seen. 
> 
> we've all had incidents we don't like anyone to know about; we bottle them up and plug them in, storing them away as things that we wished had never happened. mine is very very very personal to me, so i am not going to reveal it on here. anyways, i've been having a bad time recently so excuse all the depth and emotion abruptly blossoming at this point in the fic. enjoy
> 
> x


	13. felicitate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what's happened regarding the babies and zayn and liam and the lads since the babies were born. i'd love to see ziam babies yA FEEL

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> busy busy busy busy -- exams. typed this up during my revision time, JS! xxx

Zayn almost falls back, but Louis’ grabbing his arm, whispering, _“hey buddy, I got ya”_ and it just brings back so much nostalgia from when he was in the band, with his lads, with their fans, with his Liam that Zayn feels sick.

‘Do you – Are you feeling alright mate?’ Louis whispers, and it’s then that Zayn notices the dark bags under his eyes, tears clinging on to his soft, short eyelashes. Zayn nods carefully, catches sight of his Liam tattoo (although female) as Louis gently flings his arm over his own shorter shoulder.

‘Baby girls mate’ Louis grins wearily, snorts, ‘Right kickers, man. Got Liam’s calves and shit’

Zayn bites his lip, tears pricking his eyes. ‘Main unhe-‘He stops, sighing deeply, ‘C-Can I see them?’ Louis smiles, but it doesn’t reach his carefree blue eyes.

‘They’re kinda in incubators or some shit right now – that doctor was blabbing while I was talking to Liam so I’m not too sure – but you can’t uh..’

‘Hold them?’ Zayn suggests softly, shoulders sagging. Louis tickles the back of his neck – his swallow tattoo Zayn thinks – ‘ _Hey – Zayn. Mate’_

Louis huffs, muttering about how heavy he is but Zayn and him both recognise the forced tone behind his words. ‘ _Mate they’re fine, yeah? Harry and Ni’re with ‘em right now’_

Zayn nods, ‘Can I at least go see them?’ The _“this is possibly my biggest remnant of Liam”_ hangs unspoken in the tense air between them.

Louis throws him a pitiful glance.

 

_Without losing a piece of me, how do I get to heaven?_

_après quelques jours_

Geoff and Karen came in to visit their baby and grandbabies and Zayn had a nice, long, tearful chat with them over sugarless coffee and stale hospital biscuits.

Karen didn’t hesitate to slap him and give him a good old piece of her mind, and Geoff too gritted his teeth at him and swore enough that the trio were kicked out of the hospital, but.

Karen later re-assured him that it was in Liam’s nature to give in eventually. Especially to someone he loves as much as Zayn. He cried and cried _and cried_ on her shoulder and she just let him, her own being slowly shaking under him.

They got Liam’s clothes from his place back in London, along with his cologne (which Zayn’s almost finished now, spraying it whenever and wherever possible, just to get a whiff of _“Liam”_ )  and “lucky” watch he’s had since he was 16 (Zayn’s heart dropped when he realised Liam wasn’t wearing it the day of the incident).

And also, the unforgettable car full of baby supplies. He realises he can pawn half the shit they’ve received in a big auction: _Liam Payne from One Direction’s baby dummy! Any bids?_

Then his parents and Safaa and Waliyha came down from Bradford, and he got another earful, possibly even more than what he got from Karen and Geoff.

His mum was so disappointed in him once she got to know the matter and his dad didn’t talk to him _once_ the whole day he was there; just curtly said _bye_ when they were leaving.

And if Zayn didn’t realise already; he was now sure he’d fucked up big time. His dad, who usually fought the world off to protect his son had now given up. He’s screwed up big time.

Wali and Safaa had brought over bags and bags of small plush toys and little onesies – enough to last 3 babies a whole lifetime it seemed. They also got along diapers and Yaser got some special baby formula thing that apparently contained a whole lot of proteins which enhanced growth. 

Trisha also brought the infamous pot of _kaajal_ or kohl and threatened to disown him if he didn’t press a little dot of it on his babies’ faces every day. He remembers Waliyha and Safaa going through the same thing; small babies with (frankly) _hideous_ dots of kohl on their precious little faces.

It holds some significance; he’s not too sure what, but it like… stops _“nazar”_ from affecting the babies? _Bad vibes?_ It’s like a protection charm, basically.

 

So here he is now, carefully bathing his love in the nasty, hospital baby tub.

He sneaks a look back Kitty is sleeping, softly heaving under the golden sunlight filtering into the room. She’s all snuggled up in Gigi’s baby blue blanket, tiny, _tiny_ thumb resting against the small swell of her lower lip.

Liam is softly snoring beside her, in his own bed. He smiles, eyes scrunching up a lot as Kitty stirs, gently turning in her little crib to swing her arm over the walls of it – as if she’s trying to reach out for Liam.

 _Harry_ nicknamed her that: _Kitty,_ that is. Because _apparently,_ she sleeps a lot (like a cat) and yawns and stretches a lot (like a cat) and her soft tufts of brown hair and green eyes remind him of himself and he reminds himself of a cat.

Zayn grins, giggling giddily as his second baby girl – _Jaani –_ opens her wide eyes at him ( _brown like Liam’s,_ he notes forlornly).

 _Jaani_ isn’t her real name either; it’s just something he improvised when she first smiled at him – looking so painfully like Liam that it slipped out of his mouth. It’s something he’s heard his dad call his mum too many times to count anymore and yeah…

She scrunches her eyes angrily as he rubs some _Johnson Baby Anti-Burn Shampoo_ (courtesy of Gigi and Anwar) into her hair, gently tapping her cute button nose with the tip of his finger. She opens her mouth wide, like she’s going to yawn or yell at him, but just smacks her lips together and makes a soft purr whine hybrid noise. _And there’s the Liam._

Geoff and Yaser did a complete evaluation of their appearances in the hour or so they spent together. They concluded that Kitty had Liam’s hair and Zayn’s (occasionally) grey-green eyes. She was all tan skin and pouty lips and temper tantrums and Geoff took the mick out of him _so much_ because Liam always complained about Zayn being fussy and lazy and sleepy and he sees that reflecting in his granddaughter.

Jaani on the other hand, has no Zayn at all. She was _all Liam._ She has dark black/brown hair (like Waliyha’s) and soft brown eyes, framed by _long_ , dark black/brown eyelashes (“ _permanent mascara”_ Geoff called it, _“Prettier and more realistic than those stupid Maybelline falsies you buy”_ Yaser had joked to Trisha, earning a petty slap on the arm and a promise of no sex for 2 weeks).

_Zayn still has to bleach his ears._

Jaani’s lips were full, and her hair was in little ringlets that Zayn could really see blossoming into beautiful black curls in the future. She was so _Liam_ that Zayn could cry.

Not that he didn’t do enough of that nowadays, really.

 _Louis_ proudly put a picture of the pair on Instagram, as if he was the baby daddy and the fan’s support and comments were absolutely _phenomenal._

For a start: 4 million (nearly 5) likes. _6 million comments._

@1love1direction: _I SEE THE ZIAM COMING THROUGH EVEN FROM MY SCREEN_ _❤_

@onedirectionnews: _OHMYGOD CONFIRM IT’S ZIAM ALREADY DANG LADS_

@louis_sonshine: _most liked photo right here <3 Ngl, this is my fave post of Louis’ I’m in love w these 2 n I barely know them ! :D_

@hannahxoxo: * _chants* WE NEED NAMES! WE NEED NAMES!_

@liamchestpains: _yOU GUYS OK? WHERE MY SONS AT EVERYONE?_

(aptly named) @ziambabiess: _OmG tHeY’rE AdOrAbLe_

@1d____preferences: _@ziambabiesss sToP tYpInG lIkE zAyN ------ I love these 2, my grandchildren r adorable ~wipes tear~_

@painkillers_malikjuana: _post about your babies already zen @zayn_

Harry tweeted a picture of their little family (Zayn, Liam and the twins) sleeping in the same room; Zayn’s head lolling off the back of a chair rather ungracefully, Liam being the worrier even in a state of unconsciousness, eyebrows scrunched together and face all pouty, Kitty and Jaani just snuggled up in their Gigi sponsored baby stuff.

Twitter later tweeted that the site almost crashed. And congratulated Zayn and Liam on their babies. It was actually really amusing to see the speculation behind _who the actual parents are._ Everybody knows Liam’s one half of the parents and almost everyone else is convinced Zayn is the other daddy.

Zayn feels so smug at the thought of that; he likes the thought of everyone knowing Liam’s his and _only his._

What no one knows however, is how Liam’s doing. Miraculously, they’ve managed to keep it all very private and Harry’s hospital room picture is in that stupid black and white filter, and it looks like it was taken in a normal bedroom, really.

So many other artists, celebrity mates and mates posted about the birth too, congratulating them and wishing them the best.

And the bloodthirsty managements convinced themselves into liking all this publicity, encouraged the lads to post more stuff about the babies, but everyone refrained from it since.

He is painfully aware that it has been 2 weeks since they’ve been born, but he’s avoiding naming his baby girls because this is one of those experiences he’d like Liam to indulge in too. As it is, he’s deprived Liam of the sheer joy of birth and pregnancy.

He actually can’t wait till Liam gets up and joins them on this new journey.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> who do you think tops (ziam) ?  
> me: zAYN ALL THE FUCKING WAY YASS


	14. timeframes.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a night in with zayn, niall and the twins. an unexpected surprise at the beginning of dawn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to make up for my late updates (at least i hope this begins to compensate), i'm putting up another chapter today. trust me, these are the last few days of my exams, and very soon i will (hopefully) return to a normal writing schedule.   
> thank you all so much for sticking with me and for all those lovely, encouraging comments you've been putting up recently.   
> also: special thanks to anjali - babe you may not see this, but your comments make my day. it makes me smile, the fact that you comment so frequently and so regularly and it's interesting to see how the fic makes you feel❤  
> on with it, i guess :)

_un mois après la naissance_ [1 month later] __  
  


Comforting crying babies. That’s what his 3 AM life has come to now, Zayn realises with a roll of his eyes.

Jaani (now at 1 month) is softly crying as he gently pats her back and hums soft lullabies to her, ones he vaguely remembers from his childhood. He’d tried feeding her milk with the special protein solution powder, but she still didn’t stop crying – he doesn’t blame her; that thing tastes like _shit –_ and he’s beginning to get a bit frustrated.

She kicks his bare chest and Zayn bites his lip, holding back a groan of pain. Who knew babies could be so strong? Her _kaajal_ is smudging over the back of his shoulder and he can feel drool and tears on his bare skin. _Ugh._

Here’s when having Liam awake would be useful. Liam is far more patient than Zayn; _far more domestic too._ Zayn initially loved the idea of having a babies, but on his own, at 3 AM in the night, when their sleeping schedules differ from his; no. No babies. 

The nursery door opens and Niall’s gently thudding into the room, rubbing his bleary eyes, his darkening blonde hair sticking up in all directions.

 _‘_ Ya need help with her mate?’ Niall softly asks, walking over and taking a seat on the leather beanbag parallel to Zayn.

Zayn nods eagerly, gently pulling her off his shoulder and handing her to a sleepy Niall, who cradles her in his arms and gently rocks her back and forth, battling sleep himself.

He doesn’t need to thank him; the fond look he throws him as Niall slowly shushes her says it all.

 

The boys had decided to take turns staying with Zayn; a week at a time. Zayn has had absolutely _no_ experience of babies (other than his younger sisters) and all of them mutually agreed that there was no way Zayn would take proper care of them.

_So much confidence and trust, am I right?_

At first, Zayn was _offended_ that they didn’t think him capable of handling 2 babies on his own until Liam woke up, but right now, he’s so glad Louis used his brains at the right moment and suggested this.

Each one of them had stayed a week at Zayn’s place so far, after the hospital allowed the twins to be discharged a week after birth. Louis was absolutely amazing. His experience with 6 younger siblings clearly paid off, because while he’s always cranky with the lads when he’s sleepy, he works miracles with kids, even at 2 in the morning.

Also, he diapered and cleaned them up for the whole week he was there. Zayn kept suggesting he do it, under the pretext of not understanding what to do. _He’s pretty sure Louis saw right through his act._

Then was Harry, who wasn’t as great as Louis (he’s a youngest himself), but he was more patient and caring than Zayn at least.

He was horrified when he discovered they didn’t have a formal nursery, so one day, he dragged the 4 of them out on a day trip to _Mothercare_ and _IKEA_ to buy baby furniture, a monitor, coupl’a soft beanbags for late nights like this and (more) plush toys.

Harry also wanted to buy paints, to repaint their “horrible attic room” ( _“mate do you really think babies enjoy being in dingy rooms with peeling walls?” “I don’t know”, Zayn shrugged, “Do babies have an eye for interior design?”_ ). But Zayn put his foot down, because _that_ is a couple decision.

_And nope, no Liam yet._

Harry also came with a shit ton of healthy baby food recipes and spent hours and hours poring over steaming pots of tomato puree and crushed peas, or shit like that. Then he taught Zayn how to feed them with small plastic spoons and tie fleece bibs round their chubby necks as they fed.

 _Zayn_ on the other hand, didn’t even know babies were allowed to have anything other than milk until they were like a year old!

 

So, here’s Niall on the 3rd week; a man as inexperienced and tired as Zayn, who can’t even boast of being able to hold a baby’s head properly. He’s managed to calm her down just a bit, pressing a fingertip to her soft, full, pink _Liam-like_ lips and smiling down dazed as she gazes up at him curiously.

 _“What are these little shits doing? They’re so bad at taking care of me, ugh”_ She must be thinking. Zayn snorts at the thought and shakes his head when Niall throws him an odd look.

He sneaks a glance at Kitty, who’s being the little angel of the 2, sleeping like a normal person at 3 AM in the morning. Her soft hair sits in little tufts round her face as she softly snores into the pillow Gigi specially picked out.

 

She sleeps so much, it’s surreal. Then there’s Jaani – all awake and wide-eyed and busy, **busy** all the time.

Doni (who visited a few days ago) said it was oddly like his and Liam’s dynamic. Said Kitty was like Zayn, always sleepy and never wants to do anything exciting.

Zayn also found out that day, that his sister thought he was a _nymphomaniac;_ a _sex freak_ , which was great. (" _well liam’s told me how much you love staying in the bed all day, bed all day, bed all day” “shut the fuck up Doniya”_ ) Jaani, meanwhile was all active and sleepless like Liam, staring at everyone all day with wide brown eyes.

 

Suddenly the house is filled with ringing and Zayn winces and Niall swears. Jaani who had started to drift off is woken back up again, filling the room with her soft crying and Kitty wakes up too, demanding attention as she opens her mouth and belts her chest and starts crying, her tiny hands balled up into fists.

She bangs her fists against the netting of the cradle and squirms in the moonlight, eyes still closed – as if she’s too lazy to open them, here’s Zayn again – her pouty lips forming an “O” as she too cries, harmonising with her twin.

Zayn wants to scream, but he chooses to hold his head in his hands and regret his existence. _Which idiot calls at 3 fucking AM in the morning?_ Niall throws him a pitiful glance, looking much more awake, tired blue eyes gleaming in the moonlight.

‘Mate, ya mind pickin’ up the phone?’ he croaks, already getting up to pick up Kitty from her cradle.

‘You do it’ Zayn retorts and Niall raises an eyebrow at him. ‘I would, ‘f it was me house, mate’

Zayn rolls his eyes and groans as he gets up, muttering about _stupid Irish fuckers who get piss drunk and then can’t handle babies._  

 _It’s fine –_ Ni knows him well enough to know he’s joking. Or not.

He walks down the stairs and into the living room, rubbing his eyes with his fist and yawning. A hand goes down to scratch his pubes, visible just over the waistband of his sweats. He takes no heed of Liam’s voice in his head, telling him that’s unhygienic and there’s no way he’s touching Liam with those germ-y hands (“ _baby your mouth’s been there before, you’re not one to talk”_ ).

_He’s not here now, is he?_

He picks up the phone and cautiously says, ‘Hi you’ve reached Zayn Malik ‘ere, what’s up?’ because it could be those crazy media who thinks it’s a great work ethic to reach out for artists in the middle of the night.

‘ _Zayn’_ someone breathes and suddenly Zayn’s much more awake. His heart hammers against his chest and he feels weak in the knees.

He tugs his hand away from his groin because.

Liam’s awake and safe.

 

_She’s sweating under the lights. Now she’s beginning to crack._

After that realisation, he drops the phone and runs back up the stairs, two at a time, almost breaking his thighs and down before he finally gets to the top and bursts into the nursery.

He rushes around the dark room, tripping over toys, books, clothes, shoes, swearing every time he does. Niall looks on, bewildered as he rocks the still crying babies in his arms.

_‘Zayn what the fuck is going on?’_

Zayn ignores him, in favour of finding those cute booties Liam’s mum had gotten for Kitty.  It’s like an obsession: he absolutely _has_ to prove he’s a good dad, he’s perfect for his kids-

_He’s worth staying in a relationship with._

‘ _Zayn’_

Zayn yelps when he finds one of the booties; _now where’s the other one?_

‘ _Oi Malik, listen up yea-‘_

‘Shit Ni, pass me Jaani’s basket thing will ya? It’s over there, by them dirty clothes’

Niall ignores him and carefully stands up, placing an asleep Jaani in her crib. ‘ _Zayn,_ will you tell what’s up, yea?’

Zayn sighs exasperatedly as he stands back up, hair already mussed, looking almost comical with one bootie between his fingers, eyes wide in frustration.

 _Domestic,_ Niall thinks, but doesn’t voice his thoughts because.

‘Zayn!’ Niall whisper-yells and Zayn whips round, making a sound of affirmation. Niall sighs, glad that Zayn’s finally _acknowledged_ him, ‘Will you tell me what’s –‘

But Zayn’s already running past Niall, tripping over more toys and swearing as he steps on a Build-A-Bear, which barks rather loudly in protest.

‘Aha!’ Zayn yells loudly, followed by Niall immediately shushing him. The Irishman’s heart melts when Zayn turns round, holding the second bootie of the pair, eyes sparkling and looking happier than he has in…

2 months – since Liam losing consciousness.

Niall’s heart starts thudding in his chest, and he’s almost scared to confirm his thoughts.

‘Zayn’ he whispers gravely, and Zayn immediately stops, snapping out of his 5-year old act. He knows Niall’s serious voice; everyone knows Niall’s serious voice.

‘Yea?’ he mutters cautiously, frozen in his spot, heart pounding.

‘… Is Li up?’ Niall mumbles, feeling so much more awake now. Kitty lets out a little sniffle in her sleep and a tense silence falls over them.

The fond nickname leaves a taste in his mouth; of sickening familiarity yet newness. It’s a name all of them have avoided taking since the past few weeks, in fear of sending Zayn into meltdown mode.

Then Zayn’s turning round again, tears shining in his eyes as he continues rummaging through drawers and cupboards for the girls’ things.

‘Zayn?’ Niall hazards and Zayn ignores him, yet again. Zayn’s standing back to him, but Niall sees how Zayn pulls an arm up and wipes the back of it across his face.

_He’s actually crying._

He sets Kitty down in her crib and she looks up at him questioningly, eyes wide and glassy as they follow Niall’s movement.

Niall goes up behind Zayn and wraps his arms around his waist, gently hooking his chin over his shoulder. It’s an oddly _“couple-y”_ thing to do, but he doesn’t care. The 5 of them have been like this since the time they first started rooming with each other, and none of them care what the world says about it.

‘Mate’ he says softly, as Zayn goes pliant in his arms, shaking in his grip. They’re standing chest to back, body to body and it’s weirdly intimate.

‘ _Li’s awake, Ni._ _Li’s awake – and I-I dunno what to do’_ Zayn croaks out, sounding so heartbroken that Niall feels on the verge of tears himself.

‘He’ll make me’ Zayn starts, sniffing. He bangs his fist into the wall, resting his head against it. ‘ _He’ll make me leave him and the twins’_ He grits out and tears slide down his face. _‘My family’_ he adds as a second thought, shaking and trembling and paling right in front of his friend.

Niall simply nods.

‘ _A-And’_ Zayn starts, turning round, shrugging Niall’s hands off his waist. ‘ _I-I fuck-‘_ His voice cracks and he sobs into his hands, leaning back into the wall, ‘ _I-I don’t wanna leave’_

‘Why?’ Niall simply asks him, reaching up to gently tug his hands through Zayn’s thick black hair. Zayn relaxes into the touch and wipes at his eyes carefully, tears catching at his long, luscious eyelashes.

‘ _Because. Because I-I love ‘im, man! I love him so, **so fucking much!** He’s my everythin’ mate a-and I wanna mean as much to him as he-‘, _Zayn takes a breath, ‘ _a-as he means to me’_

Niall nods wisely, and reaches up to kiss Zayn’s forehead, pushing his hair off like a concerned mother.

_‘Let’s go get yer love then, man’_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm considering extending this fic into maybe married life once these 2 sort their shit out (which may actually take a long time), but would you guys be interested in reading it. nothing's down in writing, but i'm strongly considering writing up a sequel fic of married life and love


	15. awakening.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> how to be a basic with chapter titles: a book written by me. 
> 
> zayn has a moment with a dazed, drugged liam. liam discovers the kids're out and kickin'. some dry humour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyyy - so everyone who commented on the last chapter responded positively to the idea of a sequel, so I might just do that! Bear in mind, it's gonna take God-knows-how-long before they sort it out though.

_No nothing can come between, you and I._

It’s all rush from then on; Niall grabs the girls and their little carry-around baskets, and Zayn picks out some decent clothes, claiming to be the one with “ _better fashion sense”_.

They rush out into the morning in Zayn’s car, catching glimpses of the Sun rising over tall central London buildings, whizzing past Canary Wharf and the O2.

_Where Liam and Zayn once used to live._

Zayn drives because Niall’s not completely sober ( _when is he ever?_ ) and Niall dresses the twins in soft little booties, fluffy matching onesies and little baby hats.

They reach the hospital at 4 AM, and Zayn rushes to the lift, violently jabbing the button. A drunkard lying next to a chair nearby yells at him to stop being so fucking noisy, but for once Zayn clenches his fists, takes a deep breath, and doesn’t let irrelevant people’s shit bother him.

Niall comes running up behind him – _miraculously –_ holding 2 baskets in his hands. He abruptly stops by Zayn, panting and heaving like he’s just run the marathon (Not a Netflix one).

‘For someone as skinny as ya, y’are awfully fast mate’ Niall slurs out and Zayn sneaks a glance at him, rolling his eyes immediately. Niall’s wearing the shirt Zayn’s been bugging him to wash for the past fortnight, gloriously decorated in ketchup, stale beer, baby food, toothpaste, _you name it._

‘You are a human biohazard, mate’ Zayn muses as the lift dings and opens. He steps in and presses the _6_ button, not bothering to hold _“OPEN”_ for Niall.

Niall makes a weak sound of protest and swears under his breath, setting down the baskets for a second to stretch out his arms, but the lift doors shut and all Zayn hears is the Irishman yelling and swearing at the lift as it goes up.

_It’s quite funny, if he’s being honest._

The lift dings again when it reaches the sixth floor, opening for Zayn like the gates to his happiness and love.

_It’s 4AM in the morning and Zayn’s feeling inspired._

He hesitantly steps out of the lift and crosses the corridor to room 603, his heart thudding loudly in his chest. Hopefully Liam won’t be pissed at him ( _hell, he’ll be lucky if Liam doesn’t kick him out the moment he sets eyes on him!_ )

But he can’t really take the suspense, so he cautiously opens the door and takes a step in, looking around the dimly lit room, taking in his surroundings. He turns back, locks the door so no hospital staff come in and interrupt a yelling session or something (if there is one that is – _which there probably will be_ )

Nothing’s really changed from when he was last here, except there’s more chocolates and cards lining the bedside table. _Liam’s family probably visited again._

‘ _W-Who’s tha-‘Zayn_ flinches at the voice, and his heart pounds violently against his chest. He walks ahead until he can see that familiar chestnut hair, and those glimmering brown eyes, shining brightly from behind those hospital sheets. The bottom half of his face is covered by blankets.

Zayn can’t decide whether he wants to laugh or cry.

 

_‘Cause we are who we are, when no one’s watching_

_‘Liam’_ Zayn breathes out, emotions taking over as he drops by Liam’s side and grabs Liam’s hand, pressing kisses all over the soft inked skin.

 _‘Zayn’_ Liam laughs cutely, but Zayn can sense the tiredness in his voice _‘Stop! It tickles’_ And Zayn doesn’t want to tire Liam out, so he pulls back, instead gently tugging down the covers from Liam’s face.

It’s an almost surreal feeling and he feels drugged as Liam’s face is slowly revealed to him, tired brown eyes shining widely in his sunken face. And.

_Oh._

_He’s the one responsible for this._

Liam looks oddly happy to see him; grins adorably, eyes crinkling and face so soft and vulnerable. His chocolate eyes almost sparkle in the darkness of the room, and he keeps shutting his eyes for long moments, and Zayn guesses he’s sleepy and a bit high off morphine.

So Zayn takes the chance presented to him on a golden platter and leans in, brushing his lips against Liam’s, hands going round to clasp the back of his neck.

For the first time in forever, Liam doesn’t hesitate, or pull back to scream at him. Instead, he just melts against Zayn, his hand coming up to rest on the latter’s cheek, thumbing at Zayn’s stubble.

They kiss for ages, lips melding against each other, hands caressing, entranced in the feel of each other. Zayn nudges the blanket to a side and slips in beside Liam, eyes fluttering shut as they kiss lazily, relishing in the calm and quiet of dawn.

Zayn quietly pulls away, hand impulsively going down to stroke Liam’s tummy before he realises (all too late) that there’s nothing in there anymore.

 _‘I missed you so much’_ Zayn opts for instead, thumbing at Liam’s cheeks as though he were something fragile and breakable. Liam doesn’t raise his eyes, instead smiles to himself, a rose flush creeping up his neck.

‘It’s not been that long – like 2 hours tops?’ Liam mutters and Zayn raises an eyebrow to himself.

_Oh yeah, there’s no way Liam would know he’d gone into coma._

Zayn decides not to change that status. ‘ _Just missed ya’_ he muses, shakes his head sheepishly, pressing another chaste kiss to Liam’s lips. Liam smiles against Zayn, slowly snaking an arm round Zayn’s neck as another hand goes to rest on his chest.

But then his fingers are shifting off Zayn’s chest, slowly dragging down to his hips, where they slip under the hem of his t-shirt and stroke his skin. Zayn pulls back immediately, gulping as Liam looks on, worried and a bit dazed.

_This is not right; Liam will be so pissed at him when he’s fully conscious._

‘Li, babe… Maybe you should sleep for a bit, yea? See ya in the morning’ Zayn suggests, pulling the covers over Liam as he pushes himself away from his jaan, turning away.

Liam probably looks so hurt right now: Zayn doesn’t want to think about it.

 _‘Zaynie’_ fingers stroke his swallow tattoo; and goosebumps creep up Zayn’s skin. He hears a barely audible gulp and sigh.

 _‘At least stay here’_ Zayn goes to say that _“yes, of course baby, ‘M right here”_ but Liam mumbles, _‘with me. In my bed’_

And Zayn’s shaking his head, jumping to his feet and pushing hair off his forehead. Liam’s hand drops and Zayn hears not a word more. Tears prick his eyes as he quickly takes himself out of the room, shutting the door as quietly as possible behind him.

A pair of warm arms encircle him a sudden and he hears Louis’ tired voice distantly in his mind _telling him to calm down_ and _stay with him_.

_He loses it._

_You’re the colour of my eyes_

8AM

_‘PAYNO! LIAM JAMES PAYNE! LI!’_

‘ _Hold on try this – oh Liam, yes yes yes yes right there baby – NIALL FUCKING JOIN ME’_

_‘Oh yes Zayn fuck you’re the apple of my eye, the point behind my existence, oh – oh fuck Zayn! Yes yes s-so close let me come daddy-‘_

_‘SHUT THE FUCK UP WILL YA? LOUIS? NIALL’_ Loud coughing, _‘besides how’d he wake up to his own voice, he’d just be really creeped out’_

_‘Killjoy’_

‘ _I thought Zayn said he was awake- OW YOU FUCKER YOU KNOW MY LEFT ARM’S SENSITIVE’_

_‘Ni please calm the fuck down, bro’_

Liam sighs, almost tempted to roll his eyes if his head didn’t hurt so much. He slowly cracks his eyes open, immediately feeling the impact on his chest.

 _‘Hurts’_ He croaks out, looking down to see Niall digging his head into his chest in some hug/head butt combination.

 _‘Don’t do that ever again’_ Harry hisses out, and Liam nods, chapped lips breaking into a small smile. Louis then lands on his leg with his big ass and Liam swears loudly, attracting unwanted attention from other patients.

 _‘Fat ass’_ he hisses out, cringing as Louis grins impishly at him. ‘Well, you’re not pregnant anymore hun, I c’n sit on you now’ Louis muses, wrapping his arms around Liam’s torso, leaning in awkwardly close to his crotch.

‘What?’ Liam hisses, looking down to indeed discover no trace of a bump. _Well maybe there’s a little bit left,_ but not as big as it used to be.

 _‘Where are they?’_ he panics, sitting up rapidly in the bed, almost kicking Louis off in the process, earning himself a _woah chill._

_Did he have a miscarriage?_

‘They’re out’ Ni hums, smiling as he tugs away from Liam’s body. Liam’s heart thuds loudly in his chest at the prospect.

‘Do you have them with you _?’_ he says, almost breathlessly, looking around for any sign of a cradle or a pushchair or a pram or _anything baby-related._

‘They’re with Malik, bro’ Harry says softly, biting his nail worriedly. Liam sees red. _Zayn got him here in the first place – how fucking dare he take away his kids!?_

Then sadness because. He gave birth for the first time and missed it. He missed the birth of his first kids. _His first kids._

‘I’ll go get Zayn’ Louis murmurs thoughtfully, unable to judge what Liam’s thinking, expression unreadable.

_What should he do_

 

 

 

               

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what do you think of the LIKE I WOULD mv? and Azealia Banks' bullshit?   
> me: ^ LIW was lit af. I loved it. Azealia banks can go fuck herself tbh - she can't spew racist bullshit at my baby and expect to get away with it. She might apparently get banned from the UK and I'm so fucking Glad.


	16. brawl.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> liam spends 2 minutes with his kids, permitted to leave the hospital. zayn tries to persuade him to keep him a part of the kids' and liam's life with some shitty excuses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> later update oopsie x

Louis comes storming into the waiting room like a fucking tornado.

Wearing Adidas and chinos. A tornado wearing Adidas and chinos, _ya._

Zayn looks up from Kitty’s sleeping face and raises a knowing eyebrow at the blue-eyed man. Louis nods back.

_Liam’s awake…_

He jumps to his feet and carefully sets Kitty back in her little makeshift bed before lifting both the baskets and walking out of the waiting room.

Louis greets him with a wide grin and a clap on the back, ‘ _Well,_ he hasn’t freaked out yet. That’s good, yea?’

Zayn grimaces, narrowing his eyes and Louis’ smile fades.

‘Well’ the shorter man says awkwardly, scratching the back of his head, ‘I’ll leave you guys together, hm?’

Nodding, Zayn steps past him and into the ward where a laughing Harry quietens down, nudging a hysterical Niall sharply in the ribs. Niall stops laughing and turns to glare at Harry, instead spotting Zayn at the doorway.

‘We’ll just step out for a bit’ Harry says carefully and Liam’s smile too fades off his face when he spots Zayn standing in the doorway, two baby baskets in his hands.

He takes note of the messy stubble littering Zayn’s jaw and the dark circles under his hazel eyes. The rumpled clothes he’s wearing and his product-free, fluffy hair. He then zeroes in on the two baskets and lets out a little whimper, immediately making grabby hands.

Zayn cautiously walks towards Liam’s bed, and sets down the baskets, taking both his, no _their_ babies out of them and propping them in Liam’s arms, heads at both his left and right elbow, ( _“is this real” Liam whispers brokenly_ ).

Zayn steps back and pulls his phone out of his pocket, getting the camera up and then switching to video.

‘ _Oh my God’_ Liam whispers, awestruck, his brown eyes wide and glistening with tears. Kitty lets out a soft breath, jutting her arm out and accidentally smacking the brunet’s face, and Liam’s expression is priceless.

Jaani is ( _still_ ) sleeping, snoring softly into her daddy’s chest. Liam presses a soft kiss to each of their foreheads, tears slipping out through his eyelashes as he cradles them in his arms.

‘I uh’ Zayn clears his throat and Liam looks up, his warm, glowing expression slipping into painful blankness. ‘Uh’ Zayn hums again and Liam’s biceps tense under the flimsy hospital gown.

 _‘Get on with it’_ Liam hums coldly, his façade flickering.

‘Haven’t named them yet, yea? Got nicknames though’ Zayn tries and Liam bites his lip, raising an eyebrow. He carefully approaches Liam, like he’s worried he’s going to be kicked out of his own family.

Liam grits his teeth, but doesn’t say anything, just seethes inwardly as Zayn approaches him after all the shit he’s done.

Stroking Jaani’s head with his thumb he murmurs, _‘That’s Jaani’_ and he turns to introduce Kitty but they’re already looking deep into each other’s eyes, like they’ve known each other for a lifetime or something.

‘ _Hi there baby’_ Liam whispers, breaking their little staring contest by gently tickling her chin with his finger. She opens her mouth and soundlessly yawns, her lips curling up into a small smile, eyes lazily cracked open.

‘Kitty’ Zayn mumbles, raising his phone up to continue filming a tired-looking Liam tickling Kitty in his strong arms.

Then Jaani stirs and Liam carefully sets Kitty down on his lap to turn to his other baby. _‘Jaani’_ he teases softly as she shudders in his arms, her little cap falling off her head.

‘ _Jaan’_ he tries again and suddenly Zayn can’t hear anything but his painfully loud heartbeat. _Liam figured it out._

‘ _Hey baby girl’_ he mumbles, smiling as she blinks up at him, wide-eyed and wondrous.

But then her face is crumpling and Liam’s eyes are widening comically as she opens her mouth and starts crying; loud, ear-splitting shrieks that make the pair of them wince.

Kitty too starts crying and Liam swears to himself.

‘ _Zayn’_ he hisses and Zayn’s at his side in a moment, taking a teary Jaani out of his arms. Liam then takes up Kitty and tries to soothe her but to no avail.

They keep crying and crying and Zayn faintly wonders if they sync on purpose, just to annoy the shit out of everyone.

‘Maybe that’s their first attempt at high notes’ Zayn observes and Liam turns to him with a glare. ‘Following in _my_ footsteps’ he adds and he knows it’s petty and too late to take back.

‘ _No,_ that’s their first attempt at following in their daddy’s footsteps: being an asshole’

And _that’s how_ Liam goes and ruins it all.

Zayn balls up his fists by his side and huffs, reaching forward to pull Kitty out of his boyfriend’s arms. He cradles the crying duo in his arms, smirking tightly when Liam winces, covering his ears like a little kid.  

‘ _Gonna go give ‘em to Ni,_ when I come back, _we’re sorting our shit out,_ yea?’ Zayn instructs him in his “dominant voice” and walks out of the room without giving Liam a chance to answer.

 

_I won’t, I won’t, I won’t cover my scars. I’ll let ‘em bleed._

Five minutes later, Zayn enters the room again and Liam’s back is to him, littered with fading bruises of scratches and cuts.

_Did he do that…_

‘Liam’ Zayn says brokenly and Liam turns on his heel, rapidly tugging his skinny jeans up, almost tripping over them.

_‘We need to talk’_

_‘Stop entering while I change!’_ Liam grits out, the “ _you lost that right”_ hangs unsaid between them. Zayn sighs, leaning against the doorway, refusing to budge or acknowledge Liam’s privacy.

‘Fine!’ Liam yells, balling up the t-shirt he was about to wear and chucking it at Zayn. Zayn carefully dodges and goes to close the door because.

Though Liam might not be his to see like this, Liam is not the world’s to see either. 

‘Let’s talk _now!_ ’ Liam suggests loudly, looking pissed as fuck and ready to fight physically if need be. Zayn merely sighs, walking to Liam with his hands held up, like he means peace.

Liam however doesn’t acknowledge it and snorts disbelievingly, ‘I’m not letting you _near_ my kids’

‘ _Why?!’_ Zayn whisper-yells and he can feel the cool mask he put up beginning to crumble, anger cracking through.

Liam rolls his eyes, reaching up to tug his hands through his hair, _‘God,_ Zayn! I know you’re no _God_ or summat but what you did was—‘

‘Rape?’ Zayn interrupts, effectively shutting Liam up. ‘I was _drunk; inebriated; intoxicated—‘_

Liam laughs shortly, sharp and clearly angry. ‘ ‘M still waiting for a legit excuse—‘

‘ _WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN TO MY WHOLE REASONING?!’_

Liam abruptly stops talking, eyebrows raised and lips bitten red. Zayn wants to kiss away that red: that anger, that rage. He wants to mark Liam’s pale skin with that red, kiss Liam until his lips match the colour of his ink.

‘I love you’ Zayn begs: _pleads_ instead and Liam sighs. Sighs like Zayn’s a child: a child who doesn’t understand something after multiple explanations and repetitions.

‘We can talk later’ Liam calmly says, but it’s clear he’s absolutely _seething_ , at least to Zayn. The way he coldly strides over to the end of the room and grabs his shirt off the floor.

Zayn tries to tear his eyes as Liam’s whole body flexes as he pulls on the shirt – some greying _Marvel_ t-shirt he probably nicked from Zayn.

‘Ya _coming out or not?’_ Liam spits impatiently but a hand goes up to his mouth as soon as he says it. Zayn uncomfortably grimaces, knows what Liam’s hinting at.

‘Never – I guess’ Liam muses, answering his own unwitting question, ‘Gotta keep _teenage fangirls happy_ even at the expense of your boyfriend, y’know?’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg would anyone be interested in me doing a younger!dom!zayn and older!sub!liam fic!?  
> i was lurking through "sophiamisfake"'s account on insta and i saw this ages old manip and the comments beneath were brilliant and i got some sort of inspiration / had a lightbulb moment  
> if someone does however know of any fics like this, please send me links or tag me in the comments or shit like that y'know bc my supply is running low
> 
> xx

**Author's Note:**

> Drop me a comment down below :)


End file.
